Anyhow, after Jenna's hospitalization in May we had to wait to get the reports back from the various specialities so they could write the final report. We never got one so at the end of September I put Günter onto checking into it. (We have an agreement in our marriage that I handle all the American issues--which were many when I worked on base--and he handles all the German ones). After going the rounds with the ward doctor we got a copy of the final report faxed to us and he told us to call the chief doctor because he wanted to explain some issues to us (which made me nervous) but his secretary called and said he wanted to meet with us in person and the soonest available apointment was 18 Nov!

Of course I was upset then, but accepted it. Well, on Monday (17 Nov) we got a call from his office that they were going to cancel and gave us a--get this--MARCH 15th apointment!!!!!! That is why it is a good thing I didn't blog then. I called Günter out of his work meeting because I was so upset and had him call and talk to them. I am telling you, if I had any recourse I would have taken it. So after he explained already how long we have waited and that it was unacceptable to wait nearly a year to go over the results, they said we could still come in and we would have to wait since he was the only doctor that day and had to make his rounds and such. Okay.

On Tuesday we had 3 doctors for Jenna to get through. The first one required fresh urine so I had the FUN of a complete melt down in the morning as I tried to get that sample. I knew I had to do it first thing (yes, the kids are still waking up between 5-6 am) and tried to get her to pee in the little potty. She wouldn't. Then I put a plastic bag under the toliet rim to catch it and she got so upset and tried to rip it out and then refused to go. It was just horrible with all the screaming and tantruming she did (plus I had found out when I went to the doctor the day before that my "migraine" was really a sinus infection and I also had bronchitis). Günter did manage to get some urine after she peed standing and he plopped her on the toliet in time to catch some (then had to clean up the mess in the bathroom).

We got Niki to KiGa and then I sent Günter with Jenna to the doctor while I rested. When he came home I found out that after all that trouble the "intern" saw the urine sample and did the normal test and dumped the rest!!!! It had to be sent to Heidelberg for metabolic testing...but a miracle happened and Günter was able to get Jenna to pee a little in the small potty they had while he held the sample cup--just enough! Then they had to stick her and take blood samples to send too.

After they got back and we got Niki from the KiGa we drove to Homburg and to the genetic clinic. We found we needed a referral from the doctor but they still were willing to do the work and I would send them the überweisung. Jenna totally freaked out when he put the elastic band on her upper arm to build up the blood and I was to hold her on my lap and keep her arm straight while he put in the needle and took out two vials of blood. She was thrashing around and I was quite drained physically when we accomplished the task. I didn't want ANYONE to suggest rescheduling! They will have the chromosones analyzed and the DNA. We are trying to rule out LIS1 and a chromosonal damage on marker 22.

After we went to the chief doctor and I thought we would have to wait several hours but we were seen within 40 minutes and he spent 1.5 hours with us. This time he showed Günter the MRI results and I wrote the frame numbers down that show her pachygyria. They did an EEG and found another abnormal reading and he went over all the signs we may see if she has a seizure and what to do. They only start medication after 3 seizures. Everything else was basically what the final report said and we already knew that.

Now we wait until January then start the process of getting THOSE results.

But I am leveling out with accepting Jenna's condition. She is what she is. Her condition will not "worsen" or hopefully she won't regress (which he warned us is a bad sign) but she may continue to seem worse only because we will notice how Niki's development (or other children) is making fast progress and hers will be much slower.

I am reading a good book right now called "Love You to Pieces". Stories of families living with a disabled child and what that is like for them. It really helps me to feel like others understand and that Jenna's situation is not the worst thing.

A few thing here in Germany that I have yet to get used to: no customer service and being inflexible.

Niki has done well since his surgery--no bleeding and he is now fully healed. He has had a cold for the last week and now added a bad cough. I was hoping for a miracle--that he wouldn't get sick after we got the adnoids, tonsils out and tubes in. A few funny things I want to record is that instead of "the garage" he calls it Ba-grage and so I tease him all the time. The other day I opened a carbonated bottle and it exploided all over and he laughed and said "brilliant!" just like a good Brit (guess he watches too much BBC). He loves hot air balloons right now. He has their playhouse be a basket for a hot air balloon. He continues to talk all the time about babies all the time. He asks about himself as a baby and loves to go to babies and see them. I wish I could have other kids because I think he would have been a wonderful big brother. He still gets confused about some very abstract words like honesty, lying etc. If I am confused and say something wrong he tells me I am lying! He also points out if he thinks Jenna or himself are a good example. I know he is learning things. He loves music and loves singing. He nevers stops talking (I think I was like that as a child).

Jenna really loves to be helpful right now. Her most favorite thing in the world is to help cook. But if she can have any job, she is pretty happy. Nevertheless, she is having a very emotional week. I think it might be connected with us pushing the potty thing more. She fights every moring to go potty, despite the rewards we have (and Niki then has to have one because he says he also goes potty), the praise and encouragement. I truly think it may be like her drooling--she doesn't know it is happening. If we put her on the potty and wait, she will go, but she has no idea of when she NEEDS to go. I am still having trouble getting the KiGa to consistantly put her on the toliet. The pull-ups are expensive and we are going through a lot of them. She is getting too big for size 5 diapers and the Germans don't have size 6 (only in pull ups).

I have had a busy week. I really want to get to a major dejunking in the house but have been either tired or busy and haven't started. I a little worried that if I don't get it done soon that the hollidays will be upon us and I won't be able to get to it until next year! My desire is to really go to minimal things--only the things that are used or are beautiful/bring me joy to look at. But I struggle because it is hard to give away things that cost money and are useful but I don't know if I will EVER use them. I keep things and haven't used them for years, so I probably won't. We found that there is an on-line garage sale (something like Craigslist called RamsteinYardSales) around here, and I tried it out but most people that agreed to buy things never showed up. There is a yahoo free group too put I think there is a similar problem. We are all so spread out that people don't want to drive 30 minutes for a good bargain (or even freebees). So I may just advertise in our church email and then take the rest to the thrift store on base.

This weekend we will be meeting friends from Erlangen. I think it will be fun. Oh, that reminds me...Günter made a surprise for me when I was on my holiday. He had Niki record his voice and was able to upload it to our GPS so now I hear Niki telling me where to go. It is a hoot!

The tradition goes that Martin was in the Roman Army and he cut his cloak in half to share with a beggar during a snowstorm, to save the beggar from dying of the cold. That night he dreamed that Jesus was wearing the half-cloak Martin had given away. Martin heard Jesus say to the angels: "Here is Martin, the Roman soldier who is not baptised; he has clothed me." (As ye have done it unto me...) He left the Army to lead a peaceful life but the church wanted him to become a leader in the church. According to legend, Martin was reluctant to become bishop, which is why he hid in a stable filled with geese. The noise made by the geese betrayed his location to the people who were looking for him. Thus he became a Bishop.

They celebrate it by having a little parade where kids carry lights through the village. Niki's KiGa just colored this white bags and put them over flashlights. Jenna's class made more elaborate ones where you have a little stick with a battery white light at the end and hang a paper lantern attached around it.

Our village did a little re-enactment of the scene then the kids sang some songs and did a little circle dance and we walked around the village. Luckily the weather was cooperative (always an if at this time of the year) and it was some-what warm with no rain but a bit windy. After walking around everyone gathered back at the KiGa and they gave small bread geese for the kids and the adults could buy drinks and food. (Apparently part of the story is that St. Martin hid in a barn and the geese protected him from the Army).

I know this is blury but I like the how the lights are emphasized. Wish I knew more about the camera and could have done something special with it that wasn't blury.

The re-enactment:

The umpa band that lead us around the village while the children sang. (One song is sung to the tune of "It's raining, it's pouring..." and goes "Laterne, Laterne, Sonne, Mond und Sterne...")

I love the feeling of community that these traditions promote.

It was all over!

I got to see a lots of ruins. They were even excavating some "houses" as I walked by and you could see the mosaic floors still with their designs. This is a picture of one of the main "streets" with columns on either side.

This one is of the amplitheater:

The Great Gate (you can see the fountain which is the arch with two columns close by):

The library:

Some camels "sleeping" by some ruins.

It is hard to tell, but this is a sharp cliff.

I found a little path and walked along the edge until I came to more shops then to this:

The Roman Temple of Apollo (erected about 2nd century A.D):

See if you can match the pictures above in this map:

It is amazing how advanced they were with aquaducts, cisterns and fountains.

After getting back to the hotel and having dinner, the dessert buffet was waiting:

One evening they had a gigantic baked alaska (ice cream with meringue insulating it while it is baked briefly) and I wished I had run back to my room for the camera. As long as I am mentioning food and eating, I must say there was a down side to being alone during dinners--when I left my table (on the veranda) to go get my dessert they cleared the plate and drink and someone else was sitting in my place so I had to go find another place to sit. I was a bit embarrassed when a host asked if I was ONLY eating dessert! I had my fill of people watching, mainly at meal times. I would see if I could match which people belonged together as they walked to their tables. It was fun.

On the way back to the airport I snapped a few pictures. I wanted people to see the mountains here.

Also, this is a common site--skeleton buildings that have never been finished.

And that ends your tour, hope to see you again!

(And sadly ends my holiday).

Since some of my friends living here in Germany are interested in travels and want to know how to make it happen, I will say I found this trip as a last minute deal at expedia.de (if 60 days is last minute...) I checked out a lot of hotels on the tripadvisor to make sure I got a good one. (I had also considered the Canary Islands, Mallaco and a few other sunny places) for my holiday BY MYSELF (I keep having to clarify this to people--I happily went ALONE. I didn't want to feel obligated to do anything with anyone while I was there. Since I was single for so long I am quite comfortable and confident in traveling by myself.

This is the resort I stayed at. It was considered 5 star and was all inclusive (3 meals and drinks) but I would probably put it at 4 stars--which is still good.

I flew out of Zweibrücken (which was a former US military base before it closed--it has a huge airfield but is a VERY small airport) which was great since it was only 25 minutes from my home (rather than Ryan Air at Hahn or Frankfurt both about 1.5 hour drive). I flew on TUIfly and was pleased that they didn't nickle and dime everything like RyanAir. It is true that the plane took off 1.5 hours late but it wasn't their fault--there was a mechanical problem in Italy and they got that fixed (which I am grateful for) before coming to us. I was surprised that they served a light dinner (pasta) and drinks and a dessert. They had some shows playing on the TV but I just settled into my Twilight series book! It was a 2 hour flight plus one hour time zone change.

After landing and getting my baggage, I went to find the shuttle to the hotel (I knew it was a 50 minute drive). It was quite late by then (after 11 pm) and there was a young child that was crying the whole way and all of us were glad when we arrived at our various hotels. During the drive I noted a few things: surprisingly, gas was even more expensive than in Germany(!), the Turkish people are very patriotic--their flag was hanging every where and lately though their driving seems safe they drive down the middle of the line, so there were two lanes marked but 3 used. By the time I checked in and got my room it was 1 am. I just unpacked and tried for the life of me to turn off all the lights. I tried every light switch but couldn't get the one off by the mirror. In the end I just pulled the card key out and it turned it all off (the next day I just unscrewed the light bulbs until I discovered the hidden switch). The bathroom was all marble and the tub was a whirlpool and there was even a scale (go figure...like anyone wants to think of that during a holiday).

The next day I got up and saw a lovely sunrise.

Then headed to the breakfast--which was European style--bread, cheese and meats with some fruits.

I had an omlet every day and crepe with nutella! Here is the only picture of me:

Afterwards I went exploring. I found the Turkish bath/spa and they could fit me right in. The Turkish bath ("hamam"--if you want to read more about them, link here.) is the direct successor to the Roman bath and has had a special place in Turkish tradition for hundreds of years. Traditionally the Hamam has a domed roof with thick bottle-glass lights set into the dome that concentrate the sunlight.

After changing into the traditional 'Pestemal' a type of sarong (over your swimsuit), your body is acclimatized with warm water while lying on the hot marble slabs, then scrubbed with a 'loaf', to remove the top layers of dead skin cells and ingrained dirt. Then they soap (foam) you up by filling this cloth and swinging it around until the foam was made. It smelled like lemmon. Then they washed and massaged. It was so lovely. To end they rinse you again with the warm water while you lay on the hot marble. It is heavenly.

(Obviously I didn't take any photos but found a few to show you what it is like--there was no one else in there with me but the lady pouring warm water and scrubbing me).

Then they had me relax and drink some Turkish tea (more like apple cider) until it was time for my massage. I thought the massage therapist was quite good (and I have had massages all over the world). I have had a Swedish massage in Sweden and a Turkish massage in Turkey...I still need to hit China and Thailand! He did pressure points, adjustment (of my spine) as well as good, relaxing workout of my muscles.

Then I went to check out the workout room (which sadly I never used but it was pathetic anyhow), the indoor and outdoor pools, the children areas, the other rooms (I could peek in while the maids were cleaning).

I headed to my room and sprayed my fake tan on (and upset that it didn't seem to tan me even several hours later...) and made my way down to the beach. It was a bit of a maze--going down several elevators (or stairs, if you like) and around buildings and paths then finally to the beach. The sand was fine and warm and they had loungers with pads for everyone as well as free drinks. I was glad that they also had shade covers because I love the sun but am careful not to get too much (fear of skin cancer). It was quite noisy with all the wild jet skiiers, speed boats pulling up parasailers etc.

There were horse and camels on the beach as well as people just wandering.

But it was still peaceful with the sound of the waves and the warm sun.

I headed back to my room and felt everything was off to a great start. Unfortunately I went out on my balcony and found that the kitchen was directly below and smelled all the oil cooking as well as the workers smoking and talking. I went down to the front office to see if I could have a different room and I found that very few understand English. I gave up and went to lunch.

The buffets were quite elaborate but after 2 days you started to see no variance. It was okay because I had my favorite things to eat and I found that I didn't eat so much when someone else cooked and I could choose what looked good.

In the afternoon I walked along the beach. Here is a favorite photo I got of the rocks on the beach.

Then cut through another hotel to the main street to find a store that had cheaper batteries than the hotel (3 euros for 2 AA). I was paranoid that I was always getting ripped off as an American. I probably was. Anyhow, I found a place and bought 4 for 3 euros (I guess I should clarify that they are now accepted in the European Union and are slowly phasing into the euro but still use liras). I needed the batteries for my sound maker if I was going to enjoy my room. The shops are all about the same--shoes, tshirts and souvineers.

That evening I reserved the fish resturant and had a nice served dinner.

The first day was so relaxing and wonderful.

The next day I had another massage right after breakfast (which I don't think is a good idea because it is better to let the blood flow for the massage rather than digestion). Then I read my book at the pool.

It was sad that the days were so short (the sun was up around 7 am and went down at 5 pm).

I was further annoyed when I went to take a nap in my room to find the patio furniture inside the room and drop clothes on the balcony and the strong smell of paint with workers there.

The next morning I went to the front desk again to see if there was any chance of moving to a new room. I had good luck because the guest relations gal lived in America for a year and understood my concerns and found me another room--one with a very nice sea view and was quiet.

to be continued...

I had arranged the costumes and got the kids all excited. I flew out at 3 pm on Wednesday and at 6 pm our church had their trunk or treat. Since I had the camera with me, I asked a friend to get some pictures of the kids.

This is a warning to everyone, don't let your husband do the make-up! I was very happy he tired, but I couldn't help but laugh at how Jenna's circles on the cheeks are slipping down to her neck and a few wiskers are missing from Niki's face. But they still are adorable and had a lot of fun.

On Friday they dressed up again and went trick or treating to a few houses of people we know in our neighborhood (but I found out later, it was VERY few. Like, um, three). Then they stopped for a little party for kids in the house across our street.

On Saturday Günter took them to the Yabadoo place again (indoor recreation).

Sunday he took them to Oma's church and then they had lunch there afterwards (Niki told me, "We had cake and it wasn't even anyone's birthday!")

Monday and Tuesday Günter got them both off to KiGa and then went for a short day at work.

Wednesday he had to take Niki to his ENT apointment then pick up Jenna and then picked me up at the airport by 3 pm.

The kids were so excited to see me and it warmed my heart. Jenna kept kissing my hand while saying Mama. It was sweet.

The house was in pretty good condition too. I spent that evening just playing with the kids and the next day trying to get motivated to catch up on things. Including posting my blog entry. I will work on it now.

They had me kiss him goodbye in the hall and they took him into surgery. I didn't even cry or anything. Hooray for medicine! (Can I have some?!)

Then I had to wait (with the other mother) for a while. He was actually under anestesia from 8:15-8:45 (I read the chart). They came and got me while he was in recovery and was beginning to come out of it. He was crying and it was the part that just made me feel so guilty (for agreeing to put him through this) and sad to see him suffering. Eventually when I told him fairy tales (3 bears etc.) he fell alseep and so we stayed there until 10:45 for monitoring. Then they took him back to the room.

He was subdued that day and they kept him on pain medication and antibiotics. He wasn't allowed to have anything to drink (not to mention eat) until after 2 pm. Then he got some push-up pops. He gobbled down 4 in a matter of minutes. I am sure he got tired of the soft foods (puddings, white bread etc) but he endured it. The 4th day they let him have a bit more and some classic lines: when he saw a pat of butter on his plate he got all excited and as he opened it said "A present! They got me a present!" another one is once he he told me "The pudding doesn't make you sneeze!" (What is his mind thinking?)

The thing he hated the most was the IV in his arm. He would cry and tell me to call the doctor and get it out. Especially in the night this would bother him.

The 2nd day after the roomate left it was quite nice. We had our own room and I felt more relaxed. I brought cars, painting, playdough, beads, books and a variety of other things to keep him occupied. The best thing of all was the laptop with DVDs. He doesn't watch kids movies but does like to watch the BBC shows so we recorded a bunch and that is what he watched. Also he loves Dora and Signing Times.

Here he is with the "boy doctor" (really he was a nurse, but I didn't feel like trying to sort that with him).

It was a long 6 days but I finished a great book (Midwives) and watched a bit of CNN (kept up to date with the election propaganda) and a few other interesting shows too.

A few friends visited--and I appreciated that more than they can know! Günter brought Jenna every day too. Things got a bit loud then...

One day Niki asked why Oma and Opa didn't come to visit so I had Günter call and they drove 1.5 hours (one way) to see him for 40 minutes--the love of a grandparent!

This hospital experience was so different than Jennas. I was so traumatized at the end of the week with her, but Niki's almost seemed like we were at a hotel or something. They hardly bothered us and we had good food. The only thing that annoyed me was the 9 year old kid in the next room kept stealing our icecream bars. We put our name on it and eventually told the nurses when he still would take them. His own family should have brought something. Oh well. The great thing is that they let a parent stay with the child (for free) when the child is under 9 years. So I got to hang out with him and give him medicine, food and generally wait on him.

The doctor came and said Niki was healing well and we could go home on Sunday. Yipee!

Now I am doing loads of laundry and trying to get things ready for leaving on my holiday on Wednesday. This is my yearly holiday without kids or husband. I am going to the Turkish Riveria for a week on the beach and will read and relax to my hearts content. Call it my mental health break!

So expect me next post to be after I return on 5 Nov!

Then Niki and I headed over to St Johannis Krankenhaus (the hospital). The last time I was there was for my 5th D&C--I knew the surgery team and OB/GYN only too well. That alone is a traumatic memory. I tried not to think about all this as I drove up.

I knew the back entrance (by the cafeteria) and took Niki through there. We found the office where we checked in. Then she sent us to the anesteologist. The lady took us to a small room and we went over all the risks of anestesia. Then she took Niki's blood.

After about the 4th vile Niki started freaking out. He was crying and wanted to go home. He was so upset. I just held him but was feeling tense myself. Then she finished and we went up to another room. She was going to take the shunt out because we were not staying tonight at the hospital but I asked if she would just bandage it. She didn't want to but mercifully the chief came in and he said we could (that is one less trauma for Niki tomorrow). Then as he was bandaging it Niki lost it altogether and started vomiting. I guess his is his father's son (if you remember this...). We got that all cleaned up and went up to see his room.

Yes, he was feeling as bad as he looks in the bed. After about 30 minutes some color came back into his face. We will be sharing the room with a 2 year old Down's Syndrom girl named Fiona. The great part is they let the mother stay in the room. I get to sleep in the bed right next to him and the other mother is with her child in the room too.

After a while I showed Niki the bathroom and took a little tour of the ward and then left. I had some errands to do and there is a lot to get done around the house since I won't be home for the week. Normally they keep them 7 days but if he has no complications they may release him on Sunday.

I won't be posting until I am home again. Please keep us both in your prayers!

They had this nice interactive building for children to learn a little about how they built castles and about the surrounding nature.

Then we went to the castle.

Here is a rare picture of me! (I am the one taking pictures.)

This was labeled as the dog room or the prison--or maybe the same. Niki liked it because the door was just his size!

They had some rooms set up in period features.

We wandered around the halls and up and down stairs and corridors. Günter remembers going here when he was a boy and they didn't have any of it closed off and they all brought flashlights and went into all kinds of "caves" and alleys--great fun to a boy of 10 years.

After exploring the place we had breath taking views of the surrounding areas. It was especially nice because of the fall colors.

In the main courtyard they had some other things displayed:

We had to bribe Jenna with an ice lolly to get her to cooperate the last 30 minutes. It worked.

And there will be a lot more ice cream in our house this week after Niki has his surgery on Tuesday to remove his tonsils and tubes in ears.

This morning when he was going to the bathroom he also asked me if pee was slippery. He asked, "If pee gets on the potty do people slip in?"

Another one..."What is inside your feet?"

I made taco salad for dinner and he called "the compost heap".

All day long this goes on. It is hysterically funny.

He then told me that another girl in Jenna's class alledged s@xual abuse by one of the men (boy) that was interning there. Of course I felt sick but then slowed myself down and asked more. After this girl told her mom that his young man (16 years old) had kissed her and "touched her"--but they couldn't tell me what that meant. Did he touch her shoulder or her privates? No one knows. Anyhow, they called the police and the young man in susended from working at the ReHa. His parents went with him to make a statement. The girl that made the allegation has to go to a pyschologist to find out if there is any substance to it. If there is, they will press charges. The little girl said he also kissed Jenna and another child.

Of course at moments like this all kinds of emotions go through your mind. As I thought about it and they young man, I thought that he probably was innocently kissing the children--Jenna goes up to people to hug all the time and if she really likes something she kisses it. Almost all the kids have problems which prevent them from normal communication and so they use a lot of gestures to communicate. The little girl who alledged this is a rather troubled girl mentally and usually over reacts to things.

The teachers are usually altogether with the kids and it is doubtful that a person could do something without being noticed by the other adults. But before you get upset and think I am in denial and all, I did ask if he had ever changed Jenna's diaper. They didn't know for sure. Of course I always have a fear in the back of my mind that Jenna is a prime target for a perp since she is pretty, can't talk and wants people to like her. I am very careful who I leave her with and keep a careful eye on boys/men and try to use my "second sense" to get an idea if someone could be inappropriate.

In this case, I really think he probably gave a kiss on the cheek and even a hug--I wouldn't even find that over the edge--It is a fine line with handicap kids because they need affection too and I think it is Jenna's love language. I am not upset even if he was affectionate with Jenna. Only if he touched her privates in a sexual way. That we can never know because she can't tell us and I doubt she would even understand questions I might ask. I certainly am not going to coach her or lead her into admitting things (I have seen parents do that with kids in therapy--especially in child custody cases where they alledge things against the ex-spouse).

If it did happen, I won't know and I think she can recover quickly. If it didn't, then I feel really sorry for the young man that could be falsely accused. I have seen what that can do to someones life even when it is false.

I speak this a little from personal experience. As a therapist I saw a couple in marital therapy and the wife really was mentally unbalanced and she filed an accusation against me that I lifted my skirt and was touching myself in the session to turn on her husband (the thought!). I was investigated by my licensing department and really felt guilty until I proved myself innocent. I had to get colleagues write letters and even though they believed my innocence, they still acted strangely towards me. It was a horrible ordeal! I was cleared of course, but it was enough to make me wonder if it really was worth all the trouble being a therapist, when all I wanted to do was to help others.

So this young man's head may be spinning as he had the carpet pulled out from under him because of this. I guess people don't think about that side of it unless they or someone in their family has been falsely accused of something. That young man really was kind and caring to the kids and I never got the feeling he was creepy. And I had interviewed enough perps in my career. I had also worked with many kids that had been abused and know that side of it. It helps me to keep my feet on the ground and not over react now.

We all want to be protective of our kids and bad things do happen despite all we do. I want to prevent that but also can't and won't keep Jenna at home for the rest of her life so I can personally see who has interaction with her. I still want to believe that most people are innocent and still want to keep an eye out for the very few that are not.

Speaking of which, I love the fall colors and crunch leaves around. Here is a lovely bush in our backyard that has this incredibly color. I love the earthy smells too. Ahhhh. Fall.

After waking up around 3 am and not being able to go back to sleep I went downstairs and watched a BBC special on global warming and the polar ice caps. I was worried about being too tired for the day and went back to sleep about 5 am. But Nilas woke up at 6:15 so I had to get up.

I got them both ready and got Niki to the KiGa by 8 am and took Jenna to her dental cleaning apointment by 8:30. She did really well this time and they were able to scrape off some of the yellow stuff on her bottom teeth (where her drool pools up and flows over her lips).

Then we went to my doctor and I got my flu shot and got a referral I needed.

Then I took Jenna to her Pediatrician and hoped I could have her get the flu shot too, but they were too busy. I did get the referral for the ReHa (her developmental preschool) and I asked for a special referral for the 10 sessions we got permission for Jenna to see her former speech therapist that has the special training to help her stop drooling and swallow better, but the doctor wouldn't give it and said that the other one should cover it all (but the Developmental Pediatrician said we needed a special one...who know what is suppose to be done--this run around with doctors makes me soooooooo mad). He also gave me the referral to Niklas surgery and hospital stay for the 21 Oct for his tonsilectomy and tubes in his ears.

After that we went to my hari dresser and I got my hair cut. Jenna did really quite well through all this. On the way home I got gas and went to the bank for cash. Then we picked up Niki at 12 and came home to have lunch.

Good day. I went out and picked more raspberries with Jenna and debated if I should chop down the stalks but there are still some unripe berries, but I don't know if they will ripen this late in the year. I decided not to do it. I fed the kids lunch and then Niki dumped nearly a full glass of (sticky) juice on the floor. After cleaning that up I called Günter in Chicago.

I put the kids down for a nap (despite the protests) and went to take a nap myself since I felt so tired. Well after aobut 1 hour I heard Jenna and I told her to come to my room, so she did. ( This is where it gets ugly!!!)

She had pooped in her diaper and took it off and handed it to me. When I realized it was full of poop I was disgusted. Then I realized I better go find out what state the room was in. It was a horrible mess! I guess she disn't take a nap... So I stripped off all the bedding (while Niki woke up) and kept saying "disgusting" and he repeated it after me. I put Jenna in the bath and Niki went down stairs. I started the load of laundry with the DISGUSTING linen and clothes. Then I went up and cleaned Jenna in the bath. About that time I heard Niki calling for me to come that he peed. I thought, "Oh Great!" and sure enough he peed on the couch. Why?! I could have thrown his clothes in the wash but we have a front loader and once it was shut you can't open them until it is finished.

I was just so totally upset, I can't even begin to tell you. I got Jenna dried and clothes and took care of Niki and the cleaned the couch the best I could. I have no idea what the rest of ht eday will hold but it is a good thing I dont drink alcohol because I would get drunk if I did! I wish I could run away from it all. The stink won't leave, I have tried everything but it is stuck in the house...DISGUSTING!

After I arrived there and was in the dental seat I asked which tooth had a cavity and it was the tooth next to my big front one (you people married to dentist probably know the technical name...) and I was surprised. I said that for the last 3-4 months I have been have heat and cold sensitivity in one of my molars so I thought for sure that would be the cavity. They tested the tooth and found the one and said that they would have to remove the current filling. They injected the numbing agent and it didn't fully work so they had to put in another shot of it. My face was so numb and unusable I felt like I had had a stroke!

After doing that they put some kind of medicine on it and a temporary thing and sent me out to come back in 10 days for the filling. Unless there is pain in the next few days, then I must go in and have a root canal. I wasn't feeling very well that evening--I had a lot of pain but kept taking what I had to deaden it. I am doing better today, so I hope to avoid the root canal. It is not easy this week to do anything since Günter is is Chicago.

I have had my share of root canals too. My earliest dental memory was in grade school when I had to get a cap on my front tooth after chasing my brother around the car and falling. Later, when my family moved to Lincoln, Nebraska, where there is a good dental school, I had all kinds of work done--including having my wisdom teeth extracted my senior year.

Altogether I think I have 5 caps and 3 root canals and countless fillings. I have an overbite and have needed braces for that, but they are too expensive and I never did it. I have teeth whitening strips I have never used (it reminds me I want to try them) and I would like to have veneers on some. My Aunt had those done and her smile is stunning.

I have always been a bit jealous of people that have nice big straight teeth and a lovely smile. I hope in heaven I have the perfect mouth and teeth, in the mean time I will do my best to keep these working.