1) Are you currently in a serious relationship? Yes--since 6 April 2001. I waited a long time for it and even had to twist his arm a little to consider me seriously (I am older than him).
2) What was your dream growing up? It depended on the age, but overall it was to be a mother (and that included a wife by default). But I did dream of being an archeologist, and a teacher.
3) What talent do you wish you had? I always wished I could play the piano. I took lessons as a child but never stuck with it. I took lessons as an adult too but didn't continue because I found it hard to practice with all the commitments in my life.
4) If I were to buy you a drink, what would it be? A diet coke--fountain drink.
5) Favorite vegetable? zuchinni
6) What was the last book you read? "My Sister's Keeper"--about what happen to the family dynamics when a child has leukemia. Excellent book.
7) Which zodiac sign are you? tarus--bull-headed, no surprise!
8) Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where. Only one piercing in my ears and I got those when I was 21.
9) What would you say is your worst habit? My critical nature--I have to fight that and work at being positive.
10) If you saw a friend walking down the street would you offer them a ride? Depends on where I was going, and if I was late. I would definitely wave.
11) What is your favorite sport? Used to be running (as a participant) but now I enjoy watching swimming (especially after the Olympics) and gymnastics.
12) Do you have a mostly negative or optimistic attitude? I always called it "realistic" but I am mostly a skeptic that is faking an optimistic attitude until I get it!
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with someone?I would probably start by complaining about it breaking--ha ha. Then if it was a long time I would ask about them and tell them a little about me.
14) What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? Well, there are several things but the very worst was having my colleagues murdered in our office by a crazy ex-patient.
15) Tell me one weird fact about you. I can use my feet like hands, when I concentrate. (Am I the missing link?)
16) Do you have any pets? Not now, but I had cat (that died months before Jenna came). I am thinking about what pet we might get when the kids are older.
17) What would you do if a friend showed up at your house unexpectedly? I would talk on the porch (so see if they just stopped for a brief reason) then I would invite them in (and be embarrassed because my house was not picked up).
18) What was your first impression of your best friend? My best friend was 12 at the time and I thought she was so beautiful and popular she would never be my friend.
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Cute, but there are some scary ones out there!
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? My nose--I wish I had gotten the surgery to remove the boney parts at the very end a few years ago when they fixed my deviated septum.
21) Would you be a crime partner or someone's conscience? Depends on what it was that was planned. If it was just fun mischief I would go with it but if it could hurt someone or break the law I would desaude the person.
22) What color are your eyes? Hazel.
23) Have you ever been arrested? No.
24) Bottle or can pop? Do they make Bottle pop still?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? Go to the states and visit everyone with my kids in tow.
27) What's your favorite place to hang at? What?! With my kids? McDonald/BK with a play area--pathetic!
28) Do you believe in ghosts? No, but spirits.
29) What's your favorite thing to do in your spare time? Read books.
30) Do you swear a lot? I can probably count on one hand how many times I have sworn in my life.
31) What's your biggest pet peeve? Smoking and people that don't work hard.
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself? complicated
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance? Oh yes, but I married an engineer and he has a different idea of that than I do.
35) Do you believe in God? Oh course! I can't wrap my head around the idea that people DON'T believe in God.
When you walk in your front door, which room do you enter?
The hallway--that has a WC (toliet/sink) off to the right, a spiral stairs going upstairs, a door to the kitchen and an arch to the living/diningroom.
Do you have a dishwasher?
Yes, but I am not pleased with it. I don't know if it is the detergent or just a poor product but the glasses end up with gunk in them and it won't dry plastics.
What type of flooring do you have in your livingroom?
tiles with a large berber in the livingroom area.
Do you keep your kitchen knives on the counter or in a drawer?
in a block
House, apartment, duplex or trailer?
It is called a double house here.
How many bedrooms in it?
three
Gas or electric stove?
electric--ceramic top
Do you have a yard?
yes, a very small front (now a garden) and the backyard is a good size and it looks out on a field and hills with other villages (something I love about this plot).
What size TV is in the living room?
I have no idea but it is large enough to fill an armour, but it is one of the chunky kind that I got 8 years ago.
What sits on your kitchen counters?
I have a microwave, breadmachine, knife block, soda machine, utincil holder, divets and some paper clutter.
What room is your computer in?
This is a sore spot for me and makes me unhappy with the size of our house. There is no good place for it (a laptop) so it sits on the diningroom table and I hide it away when people come over. I really wish we could have a better place for it, but the advantage is that I am in the room where the family is, so I am still present even when on the computer.
Are there pictures hanging in your living room?
There are four--a water color a friend did of my cat Brutus (that died in 2004) and a picture of Christ with the children in the Americas, a drawing of my house in Spokane (that the real estate agent had done as a parting gift) and a proclamation from our church.
Are there any themes found in your home?
My kitchen is a Polish Pottery theme, the small bathroom with tropical fish, the upstairs bath in sunflowers, Jenna's room in pastels and Niki's in pirmary colors. Our room has a classic look.
Do you use dryer sheets?
Oh yes! I hate static cling.
Curtains in your home?
I have little lace curtains (a German thing) in the kitchen, bathroom and Jenna's. Nothing in our room or Niki's room. In the livingroom I only have some swags. All our windows have rolladens--that close to make it completely dark, private and insulated. The large window the length of the stairs (cathedral) I put this vinal stained-glassed looking stuff.
What color is your fridge?
White, with the freezer on the bottom.
Is your house clean?
I would call it superficially clean. It REALLY needs a deep cleaning and this week even the superficial didn't get done (dusting, vacuming, clenaing bathrooms).
Are the dishes in your sink/dishwasher clean or dirty?
Dirty in the sink and dishwasher (my husband's job and he only does it at night).
How long have you lived in your home?
Since Dec 2003.
Where did you live before?
In a row house in a village close to my work (Hohenecken), but before that I had a lovely turn-of-the-century bungalow on the south hill in Spokane, Washington.
Do you have one of those fluffy toilet lid covers on your toilet?
Heaven, no! But we did have a toliet seat that was clear with fish/beach-y things in it for a while (given by Günter's father).
Do you have a scale anywhere in your house?
In the main bathroom. It measures in lbs, kilos and stones.
How many mirrors are in your house?
6
Look up. What do you see?
Light fixutre and a horrible electric cord hanging by a hook in the ceiling that feeds the power to the laptop (that we take down when people come over).
Do you have a garage?
yes, one car, but it is far too small even though I have used every organizing trick I know to cram all the car stuff, camping, gardening and Günter's tools/ workshop stuff.
What were you afraid of as a child?
My father. I was afraid I hadn't done my chores well enough and I would be in trouble and get a spanking (with a belt). I was also afraid of memorization. I froze up when we had to take timed addition and multiplication tests--which, when I failed I feared my parents shaming me about it.
When have you been most courageous?
I thought several things took courage to go forward--going to the University and finishing when I thought I was so dumb. The same for graduate school. Running a marathon when I wasn't sure I could do it. Continually trying to have children after heart-breaking miscarriages.
Probably where I showed courage in individual moments was when I stood up to people that were being abusive or disrespectful to myself or others.
What sound most disturbs you?
The sound of a car crashing.
What is the greatest amount of physical pain you’ve been in?
Probably when my appendix burst when I was 18 years old. When I had pain I honestly thought I was a whimp. Next to that would probably be child birth--the pushing part.
What’s your biggest fear for your children?
That they will not succeed in being happy in relationships and school and ultimately work. I fear someone may sexually abuse Jenna since she is so vulneable and couldn't even tell me if it did.
What is the hardest physical challenge you’ve achieved?
Having a child, by a long stretch.
Which do you prefer: Mountains or oceans/big water?
Probably mountains for peace and the ocean for relaxation.
What is the one thing you do for yourself that helps you keep everything together?
Sleep. No joke, either! I am fairly organized and make lists when things start getting unwieldy. I like to get things done far in advance when they are due so that I am not forced to do a sloppy job just to get it done in time.
Ever had a close relative or friend with cancer?
My maternal grandmother died of cancer, but I didn't have much of a relationship with her so it didn't have much of a personal impact. I have had several friends with cancer which always saddened me when I find out another one has it. But most of my experience with cancer came after graduate school when I worked at Hospice in Topeka, Kansas for 1 1/2 years.
What are the things your friends count on you for?
Hmmm. Anyone? I would guess support and encouragement, but that is so vague that it is hard to know. I think some friends count on me for strength (which I feel I am failing at right now) and even spiritual perspective (also not good right now). Some friends count on me to remind them of what would be a healthy boundary or respectful way of approaching some difficult relationships. I count on my friends understanding me where my husband doesn't.
What is the best part of being in a committed relationship?
The companionship. I like knowing someone will help me out if my car needs a jump (happened last Sunday since the dome light was left on). I like having someone to share responsibilities (house and financial and kids). Some one to go places (biking, travels etc).
What is the hardest part of being in a committed relationship?
Being tolerant and accepting him for who he is. I want to "inspire" hime to be better when that doesn't happen I can be a nag and even bossy. So hardest is keeping myself in check.
Summer or Winter? Why?
Summer. I need a lot of light to feel happy.
Have you ever been in a school-yard fight? Why and what happened?
No. But pleanty of verbal fights with my siblings when I was young.
Why blog?
So my family and friends feel like they know my kids and our life since I chose to live so far that visits are unlikely. Also as a journal so I can remember all the little events of my kids that make up the big picture.
Did you learn about sex, and/or sex safety from your parents?
No. I had the class in 5th and 6th grade in Orem, Utah. I also snooped in my older sister's box of sanitary products, but that was about it. I really learned about it when my freinds started getting married and would talk about it with me.
How do you plan to talk to your kids about sex and/or sex safety?
I have some good books that I used with kids in therapy. Already I use the correct terminology with them about the parts. I am sure as they reach puberty I will need to have a more in depth conversation about it--I dread that! It was so much easier to have with children in therapy than I can image with my own kids!
What are you most thankful for this year?
I am grateful that I am a mother--and get to learn so much from that. I am grateful that we are financially secure and I can stay at home with financial stress. I am grateful that I have relatively good health (no major long-term disabilitis) althoug my age is finally catching up with me because I need reading glasses/bifocals. I am grateful that I live in a safe and lovely country. I am grateful to be an American with all the priveledges and responsibilities that go with it. (Didn't I have a post about this already)? I am grateful for wonderful family and friends that support me in more ways than they will ever know. That means you!
I was tagged by Kari.
1.) What I was doing ten years ago: It was September 1997, so I was living in my Bungalow on the South Hill of Spokane Washington. I bought it in 1993 and reburbished it. Interesting, Kari helped paint it! I think I was dating this WSU Ph.D canidate in microbiology (David). I was working at Fairchild AFB as a Family Advocacy Treatment Manager (assessing and treating those in the military associated with domestic violence and child abuse) I ran groups, did child and adult therapy, testified in court, provided marital therapy.
2.) Five years ago: September 2002--I was living in Germany (Hohnecken) and working for Ramstein AFB at a Pediatric Behavioral Clinic working exculsively with children, adolscents and families in therapy. I had been married a year and a half. I had been through 3 miscarriages by then.
3.) One year ago: September 2006, had a 2 1/2 year old attending a developmental preschool 2 days (2.5 hours each) a week and a son that was was 19 months old--just barely into nursery at our church. I was completely burned out as a nursery leader by that time. I had returned earlier that month from Ireland (see side bar 2006 and scroll down).
4.) Yesterday: 16 September 2007--I went to church and taught a lesson to the women of our church on marriage (since the teacher called the night before to cancel). We had dinner then went on a walk with the kids to our village Kerb (little carnival) and went home and put them to bed before our home teachers came at 8 pm.
5.) 5 snacks I enjoy:Braeburn apples, homemade cookies, chocolate, raisins and
6.) 5 Things I would do if I suddenly had $100 million: buy a bigger home--built to my specification, travel in 1st class, donate to a good cause, visit family more, hire someone to make a lot of cute bibs for Jenna.
7.) 5 locations I would like to visit: China (the great wall), a safari in Africa, St. Petersburg Russia, scuba dive the Great Reef in Australia, Thailand, Machu Pichu, Peru.
8.) 5 bad habits I have: eating when emotional, criticizing, losing my temper with my kids, complaining and procrastinating things I don't want to do.
9.) 5 things I like doing: reading, being hugged by my children, talking to friends, working in my garden and listening to talk CDs.
10.) 5 TV shows I like: they are mostly BBC kids shows--ha ha! Higgledy House, Come Outside, Postman Pat, Homes Under the Hammer (buying houses in auction in England and reburishing them) and CSI (Las Vegas or NYC).
11.) 5 things I hate doing: mopping (our whole house is tile), cleaning toliets, doing dishes, confronting people, waking a sleeping child.
12.) 5 Biggest joys of the moment: my kids sitting at the table cutting paper, my husband working on bills and me doing my blog, the chocolate chip pumpkin cookies I made, the smell of the rain.
I was tagged by Pia to do this list. I alredy listed so many things on my 100 + 100 things about me that I will have to dig a bit to think of things.
1) I almost always wear socks to bed and have 2 thick duvets over me (the covrs only in the winter) despite how warm the room is--I like the heaviness of the blankets.
2) I frequently remember my dreams and often speculate the symbolic meanings (I used to be good at dream analysis when I was doing it in training).
3) I like a clean and orderly car--almost everytime I get out I throw out any garbage and I vacume it when there are crumbs or dirt inside (and use armoral on the inside).
4) I had the tip of my left first finger cut off when I was in grade school. The story goes: we had an ice storm and there were pleanty icicles on the house so us kids gathered them and took them in to chop them so we could use it to make home made ice cream. I put mine in the grinder and a piece got stuck so I put my finger in to get it out and chopped the tip right off. It still looks different.
5) I am afraid of big dogs, heights and running out of gas.
6) I am a tolerant person with most things except smoking.
The rule is to tag 6 blog friends. (Which I hate to do because I don't want to put presure on anyone to do it if they don't like to do those things--so don't feel obligated). But I will tag Kari, Meira, Missy, Svanhvit, Joan, and Lori.
1) I sometimes get insomnia--like tonight.
2) When I was in 3rd grade I really believed I could fly--I think I did levitate myself once too!
3) I always wanted a bike with a banana seat and a canopy bed, but now I have a bike with a kids seat and a tempur bed and I am content!
4) When I was in grade school my siblings and I would walk to the local fruit stand and buy penny candies. My favorite were the jelly raspberries. I was thrilled to find them here in Germany!
5) I loved irrigation as a child. It was so relaxing to put my legs in the water and watch it flow by.
6) Since our family was poor I worked in the the school cafeteria serving. Once I fainted while serving green beans and the lunch ladies fussed over me. I loved it that part.
7) I was very good at tetherball and 4 square in grade school.
8) I have always enjoyed singing. I belonged to a choir in gradeschool and continued throughout my life.
9) I rescued a kitten when I was in grade school and my father let me keep her. She was a beautiful black long haired cat that died when I was in college. Her name was Mo Mom because I couldn't think of what to name her (or which of the kittens to pick) so I said "eney, miny, miney, mo) and that is what I called her. I thought she understood me better than any human.
10) In junior high school all I wanted to wear was painters pants and softball shirts. (of course I wore my trainer bra etc. too)!
11) In high school I fell asleep while watching a video with my boyfriend. When he drove me home I thought it was fine to talk since the light to the porch was on. But to my horror, the door was locked when I wanted to go in. I knocked on all the windows and rang the door bell, but no one heard. I was prepared to sleep in the garage with the dog, but my boyfriend wouldn't allow it. So he took me back to his house. Since his parents were asleep, he woke his father and asked if I could stay in his sisters room. He got up and drove me home around 6:30 am. When I went in my mother was making breakfast and since I had on sweats, she thought I went out for a run. When John got home his parents thought he was out on an errand. So neither set of parents knew I slept over at my boyfriends house! You are the only one...keep it a secret! Ha ha.
12) I always ran for the social aspect, not winning. When my teammate got sick (she had asthma) I stopped and stayed with her, even though I should have kept going since I was a top runner.
13) My senior photo was used as an asvertisement for the photography studio.
14) My first car was a 1975 Datsun B210. I knick named it the flamemobile since the wiring was so bad it caught fire. (But I was young and dumb and kept driving it).
15) To me, the most intoxicating smells are lilacs, fragrant roses and citrus blossoms.
16) I refurbished a turn of the centry house and glad I got that out of my system while I had the energy. I never want to do that again!
17) I can say I know how to tile(tub and floor), refinish hardwood floors (sanding, staining and varnishing), put in a sprinkler system, replace a sink, wallpaper like a master, paint like a maniac and still live to tell about it.
18) I love the feel of warm sand, cool breeze and the sound of ocean waves.
19) I find a lot of strength and peace in nature.
20) I love the forest the best.
21) Although the sea, the desert and farmland bring me joy too.
22) I like to explore countries through their food.
23) I have my own private research going on about the best tasting chocolate in the world.
24) I love to walk around neighborhoods and look at peoples homes.
25) It is especially fun when it is dark and they leave their drapes/blinds open and I can see how they decorate.
26) I enjoy people watching.
27) And easedropping on their conversations.
28) Perhaps that was part of the draw into being a therapist.
29) I love to bargain shop (thrift stores, flea markets and garage sales). It brings a thrill when I get something of value for practically nothing.
30) I have some pride in how I get many nice clothes and fun toys for my kids for very little cost at the thrift store.
31) I took piano lessons for 6 years, but each year I quit, so I can't play.
32) I took piano lessons as an adult (age 36) and learned a bit more but didn't stick with it.
33) I have owned a Toyota (SR5), Acura and Camry before I got the Toyota (mini-mini van) we have today.
34) I am really bad at spelling (as I am sure you have already figured out) but don't take the time to cut and paste it to a word document to check it.
35) I think the English language (and spelling) makes no sense.
36) At least the German spelling makes sense, but the words are 10x as long, so that is what trips me up.
37) I prefer diet coke to diet pepsi. I can't remember the last time I drank a non-diet pop.
38) I don't drink much pop now but like herbal teas (sweetened with a packet of splenda).
39) I have never tasted alcohol except once when I bit into a chocolate candy that had run inside--and it was horrible and I spit it right out!
40) I still love songs from artists from my jr. high years like James Taylor, Simon and Garfunkle and Neil Diamond.
41) I find it hard to believe that John Denver and Karen Carpenter are dead.
42) I have always disliked my long pointy nose. Once my nephew asked "Why do you have such a sharp nose?" and an ENT offered to fix the end of it (but it was too expensive so I had to forgo the dream).
43) I am a fairly tolerant person except when it comes to cigarette smoke. I can get aggresive about my opinions about it (which are all negative).
44) My best friend (Jeni) and I got "drunk" once on diet shasta when we were studying chemistry in high school.
45) Even though it was very stressful and hard, I fullfilled a dream and became certified as a scuba diver. I love swimming with the fish even though I have bouyancy problems!
46) I have an artistic side to me, but haven't found the right expression for it. I have tried painting, drawing, flower arranging, sewing quilts, photography, gardening etc.
47) I LOVE foot massages. I believe in reflexology.
48) The best body massage I ever had was from a blind massage therapist.
49) My hand can span an octive and one key.
50) My second toe is longer than my pinky and longer than my big toe.
51) I really like Irish dancing and found a place here that teaches to adults. I haven't got my courage to sign up yet.
52) I bruise easily.
53) I an an early-morning person.
54) I would rather see a sun rise than a sun set.
55) I like order, probably because my mind is chaotic.
56) When I would give case presentations, I would get anxious because I never knew what to put in and what to leave out.
57) I think a lot of therapist (unconsciously) go into the field to resolve their own issues.
58) I love to mow the grass and to weed.
59) I was 21 when I had my ears pierced.
60) I think I have lovely hands, and my fingernails grow long and hard (I used to always keep them painted so they looked like I had a manicure).
61) I only paint my toe nails in the summer.
62) When I travel places I collect a hat pin and a picture (to hang on my wall) to remember it. I am through with collecting stupid trinkets from places.
63) I still love regea music.
64) I have never like country music, but now some of it is okay (I'll listen politely).
65) I love good jazz.
66) I wear very little make-up--only eye liner (green or blue) and light lipstick. If I am really dressing up I will put on mascara and blush.
67) I love flannel sheets and blankets (duvet).
68) I need lots of light (both physically and spiritually/emotionally).
69) I had a cat named Brutus for 17 years as an adult (he died 3 years ago) and I still miss him (especially when I got out the Christmas decorations and saw his stocking and still find his hair on the tree skirt. He was like a child to me.
70) He used to sleep under my right arm--in the pit (I guess it was the warmest). He was fiercely loyal to me. My husband took 2nd to him in bed!
71) I always thought I had gigantic feet. They are size 9.
72) I like soft socks with gummi on the bottom.
73) I like to pamper myself by reading books.
74) I was a lot worse, but still like things to be in a certain order (how the dishwasher is loaded, clothes hung by colors in the closet etc.)
75) My husband seems to have no comprehension of order, so I rearrange his things alot (I gave up trying to change him--at least in that area).
76) I have a rubber arm (at least it looks that way when I do the illusion).
77) I can talk like Donald Duck.
78) I was in a triathalon once (it was called the Tinman in Topeka Kansas).
79) I was the lead in a play as an adult (I was Dora in "Dora the Dishwasher") and was so scared of forgetting my lines that I couldn't get into the part.
80) I was trained as a facilitator for a Ropes course.
81) That is where I got in touch with my fear of heights (that I never knew I had before that).
82) I was always interested in being a pilot but it is too expensive and time consuming for a hobby.
83) I believe in periodic dejunking.
84) It is hard for me to part with things because I never know if I will need them in the future. But still I do it.
85) I like to go to the swimming pool with my kids. Even though it is a lot of work.
86) I have one bathroom decorated in fish (collected from around the world).
87) My other bathroom is in a sunflower theme.
88) I love the spring where the flowers (like tulips and dafodils) are blooming.
89) My hair is turning a mousy color (with some gray in it, which I refuse to see) so I highlight it.
90) I have to wear a toothguard at night because I clench and grind my teeth.
91) I have had a LOT of dental work done--numerous caps, cavities and root canals.
92) I really dislike my teeth. I hope Niklas gets Günter's.
93) I have a pair of mountain boots I got when I was 14 years old--and they still fit!
94) I am afraid to tell people things that they do that bother me.
95) I don't like people to give me advice unless I ask specifically for it.
96) I have had trouble with male coworkers. I think I am very sensitive to being discounted as a woman.
97) I grew up always trying to prove to my father that I was as good as a boy.
98) The only boy in our family of 8 children comes after me.
99) I try hard to be thoughtful to others.
100) I want people to like me, and love comments!
What were you afraid of as a child?
My father. I was afraid I hadn't done my chores well enough and I would be in trouble and get a spanking (with a belt). I was also afraid of memorization. I froze up when we had to take timed addition and multiplication tests--which, when I failed I feared my parents shaming me about it.
When have you been most courageous?
I thought several things took courage to go forward--going to the University and finishing when I thought I was so dumb. The same for graduate school. Running a marathon when I wasn't sure I could do it. Continually trying to have children after heart-breaking miscarriages.
Probably where I showed courage in individual moments was when I stood up to people that were being abusive or disrespectful to myself or others.
What sound most disturbs you?
The sound of cars crashing.
What is the greatest amount of physical pain you’ve been in?
Probably when my appendix burst when I was 18 years old. When I had pain I honestly thought I was a whimp. Next to that would probably be child birth--the pushing part.
What’s your biggest fear for your children?
That they will succeed and be able to be happy in relationships and school and ultimately work. I fear someone may sexually abuse Jenna since she is so vulneable.
What is the hardest physical challenge you’ve achieved?
Having a child, by a long stretch. But I have also had trouble with TMJ (clenching jaw pain), migraines and even sinus problems (before my nose surgery).
Which do you prefer: Mountains or oceans/big water?
Probably mountains for peace and the ocean for relaxation.
What is the one thing you do for yourself that helps you keep everything together?
Sleep. No joke, either! I am fairly organized and make lists when things start getting unwieldy. I like to get things done far in advance when they are due.
Ever had a close relative or friend with cancer?
My maternal grandmother died of cancer but I didn't have much of a relationship with her so it didn't have much of an impact. I have had several friends with cancer and always saddened when I find out another one has it. But most of my experience with cancer came after graduate school when I worked at Hospice in Topeka, Kansas for 1 1/2 years.
What are the things your friends count on you for?
Hmmm. Anyone? I would guess support and encouragement, but that is so vague that it is hard to know. I think some friends count on me for strength (which I feel I am failing at right now) and even spiritual perspective (also not good right now). Some friends count on me to remind them of what would be a healthy boundary or respectful way of approaching some difficult relationships.
What is the best part of being in a committed relationship?
The companionship. I like knowing someone will help me out if my car needs a jump (happened last Sunday since the dome light was left on). I like having someone to share responsibilities (house and financial and kids). Some one to go places (biking, travels etc).
What is the hardest part of being in a committed relationship?
Being tolerant and accepting him for who he is. I want to "inspire" hime to be better when that doesn't happen I can be a nag and even bossy. So hardest is keeping myself in check.
Summer or Winter? Why?
Summer. I need a lot of light to feel happy.
Have you ever been in a school-yard fight? Why and what happened?
No. But pleanty of verbal fights with my siblings when I was young.
Why blog?
So my family and friends feel like they know my kids and our life since I chose to live so far that visits are unlikely. Also as a journal so I can remember all the little events of my kids that make up the big picture.
Did you learn about sex, and/or sex safety from your parents?
No. I had the class in 5th and 6th grade in Orem, Utah. I also snooped in my older sister's box of sanitary products, but that was about it. I really learned about it when my freinds started getting married and would talk about it with me.
How do you plan to talk to your kids about sex and/or sex safety?
I have some good books that I used with kids in therapy. Already I use the correct terminology with them about the parts. I am sure as they reach puberty I will need to have a more in depth conversation about it--I dread that! It was so much easier to have with children in therapy than I can image with my own kids!
What are you most thankful for this year?
I am grateful that I am a mother--and get to learn so much from that. I am grateful that we are financially secure and I can stay at home with financial stress. I am grateful that I have relatively good health (no major long-term disabilitis) althoug my age is finally catching up with me because I need reading glasses/bifocals. I am grateful that I live in a safe and lovely country. I am grateful to be an American with all the priveledges and responsibilities that go with it. (Didn't I have a post about this already)? I am grateful for wonderful family and friends that support me in more ways than they will ever know. That means you!
My good friend (for 12 years) did this on her blog and it was so fun to read, I thought I would do it too.
1. I am the 3rd of 8 children and have only one brother.
2. My parents come from New York--my Mom is from Schnectady and my Dad is from West Hempstead. My mother grew up as a strict Catholic, my father wasn't really into any religion but joined the Catholic church to marry my mother.
3. Both my parents joined the Mormon faith when I was young.
4. I am a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and the values I have from it have influenced almost every important decision I have made in my adult life.
5. I was born in Lawton, Oklahoma at the Army Fort Sill.
6. We moved a lot since my father was in the military.
7. We lived in Orem, Utah for 6 years while my father finished his Masters Degree (in Horticulture & Agronomy) and my mom her Bachelors (Art and Computers).
8. Education is VERY important in our family.
9. We lived on a mini farm in Orem.
10. We had one pony, 6 ducks, numerous chickens, 2 goats, numerous cats and dogs, pigs.
11. We got rid of the pigs because they kept getting out of their pen every Sunday before we had to go to church. I remember chasing them with stick while in my Sunday best dress.
12. We got fresh milk from our neighbor (still warm and filtered with a cheese cloth). I remember carrying it home in a huge gallon glass jug. I was always terrified I would drop it.
13. Sometimes my mom made us drink goats milk. I hated it!
14. We had (it seemed) a large garden. I LOVED picking fresh strawberries, raspberries and cherries and eating them. Even without washing.
15. My father bought us each our own fruit tree. I was thrilled when mine produced an apple.
16. My father would take us to the University and we would water all the plants in the green house there.
17. To this day I love the smell of peat moss, soil, plants and gardening.
18. I loved to climb trees as a child.
19. We had a big tree where there was a bouncy branch by the ground and another branch up high that we called the organ. I spent many hours on that tree.
20. One time I climbed up a tree at my friend's home and we threw apple "bombs" into the neighbors yard. We got caught by her mom.
21. I was so afraid of a whipping that I hid until way past dark behind our trailer.
22. I got in trouble for being out late, not for the apples.
23. We were very poor.
24. For birthdays we got to choose a cereal, which we never got during the normal year.
25. I loved Lucky Charms and would eat all the marshmellows and leave the rest.
26. Our family moved to Lincoln, Neberaska when I was 12 so my father could get a Ph.D.
26. It was a very hard move for me.
27. I got lost the first day leaving junior high school since they had two different large doors of glass, so I walked down the wrong street.
28. It caused me a lot of shame and anxiety.
29. I had trouble making friends. Many kids teased me.
30. I felt like an outcast.
31. One time I wiped out on my bike when going around a corner with gravel--right in front of some peers. I was humiliated.
32. I was always the black sheep in my family. I was a rebel and not afraid to express my thoughts--even when I got in trouble for it.
33. I have always liked nice things--and take pride when I find it for bargins.
34. At age 14 I had a huge fight with my mother (while my father was away on a Navy reserve assignment) and she sent me to live with a family in our church.
35. I never want to return. Not because I didn't love them, but because I was valued and treated with kindness and respect (which it seemed to me the first time of experiencing that).
36. I was chubby when I went to live there, then I lost weight which greatly increased my self esteem.
37. I lost weight by going on a 5 day juice diet periodically. I believed in this for many years.
38. I began running competitively in High School.
39. I ran on the Boy's cross country team and had great satisfaction in beating some guys in the race.
40. I also ran on the track team. There were 5 of us that were considered "powerhouses".
41. I was always better at longer distances.
42. I have many medals from running.
43. I tried out for the basketball team and didn't make it (all my track mates did).
44. I tried out for drill team, but didn't make it. I felt ashamed looking at the posting.
45. I was a chatter bug and silly in High School.
46. I sometimes purposely acted like an "air head" because I though I was dumb.
47. I always wanted to be respected.
48. Even though most students knew and liked me, I only liked myself superficially.
49. I thought most people liked me because of my looks.
50. I was terrible at math.
51. I was in a remedial math class until 10th grade. Then I had a teacher that explained it in a way it made sense and I worked hard to take double the classes so I could graduate with the normal math levels.
52. I learned to drive on a stick transmission. I remember being absolutely terrified when I was stopped at a light on a hill and cars were behind me and I though I would roll into one.
53. I did return to my parents home my junior year because my father threatened to send me to a juvenile detention center if I didn't, and I thought they would let me see my boyfriend more.
54. It was a disaster and I developed an eating disorder and finally used that to have the church leaders get me out.
55. The eating disorder (bulimia, but I wanted anorexia--ha ha) continued until I was 21.
56. I lived with my best friend's family for my senior year (and it ended up temporarily ruining my relationship with my friend Jeni).
57. I went to a different High School and graduated from there. I felt very uncomfortable about that.
58. By that time I had broken up with my boyfriend, but I still loved him for many years after. He now lives in China and is an actor.
59. In High School my best friend (Jeni) and I did many silly things.
60. We traced our bodies on the drive of boys we liked.
61. We would sit at tables that weren't cleared at Pizza Hut and finish eating the pizza left.
62. When the power went out we knocked on the door and windows of a neighbors house where her sister was babysitting until the police came. We escaped from the police by jumping over bushes and running through yards. We got caught in the end by her parents when they went to check on us and we were not in our room.
63. We used to pull our shirts up over our head so only our face showed and we wondered around like that.
64. We used to cruise "O" street.
65. We were invited to a university party by some guys that thought we were older.
66. I was very depressed when I graduated from High School. But I didn't know it.
67. My appendix burst on me when I was training for a marathon.
I thought it was just a side ache and I wasn't being tough. Until I was vomiting and so sick I couldn't move.
68. I briefly went to the University of Utah.
69. I really wanted to go to BYU but thought I could get in since my ACT scores were so low. I didn't want to be rejected, so I was afraid to apply. But I did get in. I don't know how.
70. I was afraid of failing there. So I cheated at times. I am ashamed of this.
71. While I was there, I ran a marathon (Desert News) and placed with the elite women with a pace of 7:50/minute for 26 miles.
72. While I was running in Provo, Utah an assistant coach tried to catch up with me and when he did he asked me to join the BYU track team. I felt greatly honored.
73. But I felt like a fraud since I knew I was not on that level. The coach made me run a shorter distance for an indoor meet and I did so poorly I wanted to quit.
74. I was a long-distance runner and didn't even warm-up until after 3 miles. But still, it helped my self esteem to be on the team.
75. The dean of the school of social work "mentored" me (really did therapy) and has become a life-long cherished friend and father figure.
76. I almost never went on dates. I never understood why no man wanted to go out with me.
77. When I graduated from BYU my grandmother came and while she visited we went to Sundance and I saw Robert Redford and asked him to take a picture with me. He did. I couldn't even push in the clutch to drive home my legs were so weak!
78. I finished graduate school when I was barely 24 years at the University of Kansas. I went there because I didn't have to have a GRE to get in. I was afraid of doing poorly on it.
79. I met a guy in graduate school that later joined the Mormon church (for me, I guess) and we were married. Even though I knew it was wrong and broke it off several times. But I was afraid at that point I would never be asked and be an old maid, so I married.
80. I worked at Hospice and talked to people that were dying and ran bereavement groups. I had terrible stage fright when I had to get up in front of a group to give presentations.
81. I still do, and always write my talks out word for word, in case my mind goes blank. It never has and I rarely use my notes.
82. I divorced after a year. We did this with dignity and remained friends for a few years until he met another woman.
83. I am ashamed about this and rarely tell people that I was previously married. It has cost me some friends when they found out and thought me deceitful for not telling them.
84. I lived in Phoenix, Arizona for several years and worked at a Jewish Agency specializing in therapy for children and families.
85. Then I got a job at The Meadows--a well known recovery center. I was able to do their Survivors week for free and was surrounded by amazing people!
86. I got my therapist to arrange for me to go to Sierra Tucson (free through my employment) for 6 weeks and paid for my parents to come to family week where I got to confront them about some deep seated issues from over the years. The biggest thing was when the therapist asked my father how he felt is I were to die, and he said he has 6 other daughters, so it wouldn't really matter. Which crushed me, but confirmed what I knew all along. After that I accepted that my parents are who they are and what they are capable of giving in a relationship with me, and things have been a lot better.
87. I was recruited for a job in the Federal Service and moved to Spokane, Washington in 1993 to work with military members that had problems with child and spousal abuse.
88. I bought my first home there--a fixer-upper which sucked every bit of money and time out of me.
88. In June 1994 I went to a conference in San Antonio Texas and while I was there an ex-client from the clinic came into our office and murdered the psychologist (our offices shared a wall) and psychiatrist then went on a random shooting spree killing people in the hospital and parking lot.
89. While helping the wife of the psychologist clean out her husband's office we saw a B-52 plane crashed that was practicing for an air show. The copilot was a client.
90. That week the neighbor in the house next to mine had a fire an her garage burned down.
91. It took me a long time to recover from that week.
92. I still had to return to work and give therapy to clients whose provider had died, when I myself was grieving.
93. The psychiatrist that came to replace the one killed became significant in my life. Later he proposed marriage and we traveled in Europe for 3 weeks together. Which was a disaster. In the end I didn't marry him, not because he was gay, but because of the religious differences. He was the one that hired me for the job here in Germany before he moved along to another base (I never saw him). He has now been promoted to O-6 (full-bird cornel). Sometime I wonder what life would be like had I married him.
94. I dated more in Spokane than ever before in my life. But it was also very discouraging. Another gay guy proposed marriage in 1998 and we had a very horrible relationship. That one nearly did me in. I am so grateful I never married him. Although I do wonder what happened to him.
95. I met my husband here at church (the German congregation). He is 11 years younger and was severely obese at the time. I was not interested in him other than a friend. But the interest grew over time and he lost weight.
96. We were married in April 2001. His mother had issues with me, which came out in passive aggressive ways. I can only guess what they are since she is not that open.
97. We had a lot of fertility problems and I ended up having 5 miscarriages. The 6th pregnancy resulted in a live birth.
98. We were passively looking into adoption when Jenna came into our lives. She is a miracle and definitely belongs in our family!
99. I keep a bog for family and friends connected and I am glad I have made some great friends along the way too!
100. I didn't even list the many things about me I would like to. Should I do another 100?!