with new bibs. Bibs are a HUGE part of our lives here at Karpworld. I know that very few people have the knowledge and obsession with them as I do. Even when Jenna was very little we thought she was teething and got cute bibs. I had no idea that it was the first visable clue to her condition.
Since she was my first child and I had no idea of anything I thought Niki would drool the same amount and put bibs on him all the time too (but he drooled a little but I could have wiped it off easily). I am embarrassed how he even has Jenna girl bibs on that take away from his cuteness because I thought it was needed.
Bibs became a way of life for Jenna and she looked cute in them too.
Whenever I take pictures of her I try to remember to take off the bibs, so you won't see a lot of pictures of her in bibs. If she doesn't wear a bib her clothes will be soaked in a few minutes. Even when I remove it for pictures, if I snap more than one she will have wet spots on the clothes even from less than a minute. I hope one day she can overcome this (either through teaching herself to swallow the saliva or by surgery).
In the mean time we are trying to find solution to our bib problems.
These were my favorite bibs (after we placed snaps on them). They are about 3 years old (or more) and thread-worn and stained. I WANT to get rid of them but I must have sufficient amount of bibs to go for several days until I do a wash. We average 30 bibs in 4 days. BTW compare the bib when it was new with Niki wearing it while sucking his thumb (above)--see if you can find the match in the picture! Also you can see on the cute hippo one that Jenna's saliva stains the bibs after a while.
Here is a picture of some worn bibs with one left of a bib a friend sent that didn't last a week(the green one)--the velcro caught on clothes in the dryer and twisted while the heat melted the thin plastic side. (Sorry, Dana) The white one is a pre-made bib where I sewed a heavy plastic on the opposite side and added a snap. I tried to embellish it but they looked horrible so I removed them.
The thing I despise the most in bibs is velcro! As I said above they cause huge problems in the laundry and when they are washed a lot (like we must) it ruins many other clothes. I haven't added snaps because I don't like these and we only use them in emergency (all others are in the laundry).
While string bibs don't cause problems in the laundry, Jenna unties them or they simply get loose and she drools down her shirt. So I don't like these, but again will use them as a second choice.
Over a year ago my wonderful and very talented Aunt made some bibs for Jenna. It has been an experiment to see which ones work the best. The two in the lower right were made to be absorbant but eventually wore out. She then made the ones on the left and we cut off the ties (since they were bulky) and added snaps. These I save for times I need some that will last about an hour. They are great and very absorbant (she sewed several layers including a plastic one). The two Christmas ones (all hers are reversable) are adorable but for some reason don't absorb after the first layer, so Jenna can't wear them long (boo hoo).
After being lost in the mail for some 6 weeks this coveted packaged arrived with a whole new set of bibs. Isn't my Aunt amazing?
Here is the reverse side:
I requested some that where solid colors so that we can match outfits that already have patterns on them. We still need to add some snaps. I LOVE them. They truly are gold to me and I appreciate them even more after we thought they were lost forever.
Here are a few that I bought this summer when I was in the states. I removed the velcro but we had trouble finding the right snaps and the ones we got were too heavy-duty and pulled right off (and now there are holes in some) so I hope to find some snaps. Günter is getting good at installing snaps in this process.
Some friends bought us these recently and they are terry-cloth and very absorbant. We removed the velcro and added snaps to some but ran out of snaps and bought heavy-duty ones by mistake and they tore right off after we installed them, leaving holes where the snap was.
This entry is almost finished. I have said all I want to about bibs but I still have two other pictures. These are not Jenna's daily bibs but hers (and Niki's--if needed) food bibs.
Also some chest length food bibs and some bibs we got for their first birthday (which were ruined after the first wash and dry).
These are full-bodied food bibs that don't really work for Jenna but Niki wears them from time to time. I hate to stain them since they are so adorable. Isn't she creative?!
You ought to now know about all there is to know about bibs. But wait, there is one VERY important one left. The heavy-duty plastic bib with a lip that catches everything (very important to us at meal time since most things slide out).
On Christmas Eve we had the missionaries from our church come over and also a man from Rwanda. Günter made his families traditional potato salad, wursts and boiled eggs and we added smoked salmon.
Afterwards we sang some Christmas hymns and told the story from Luke 2 and the kids acted it out in their costumes from our church party. It impressed Niki because he still talks about "no room for baby Jesus". Then we opened presents. The kids were very excited to see presents under the tree and loved passing them out to everyone.
After they went to bed and we cleaned up after the dinner and guests, we got the gifts out and put the other presents under the tree and went to bed.
There is nothing like kids excitement about Santa coming to the house and leaving gifts. When they woke up we reminded them and went down. So much fun for all.
Just because there isn't a picture of me, doesn't mean I didn't get anything. Günter got me an MP3 player.
That whole day was spent in our jammies and being relaxed watching movies and snacking. It was nice.
on 26 December we headed to Günter's parents home after the kids woke up from their naps. We had our family gift exchange but there was a mistake and Günter's sister never got a gift and I got two. Later we found Günter sent his bothers gift to the wrong address (they couldn't come) and they didn't get theirs. Off on a tangent, we had bad luck with postal systems this holiday because my Aunt sent a package of precious bibs and they didn't arrive for 6 weeks!
Anyhow, Niki loved the car track he got, but honestly I think Günter believed it was more for him! (They say that men get their 2nd childhood when they have kids.)
We then had the cake and such. Here is Jenna with her great grandma:
The extended family was all there--Günter's Aunts and Uncles and their kids (Günter's cousins) and kids. Günter's mother was waiting for them all to leave to get dinner for the rest of us but some came late so they didn't leave until 8:30 P.M.!!!! So we never got dinner and had to leave then too (and that was later than we planned either). I wondered if the dinner was delayed since Doris has troubles with setting limits and Niki was dragging her all over the house and giving her so much attention that she was absorbed with it and forgot the meal.
There was one other scandal too. There is a family secret that no one that isn't in a certain level of intimacy in the family are allowed to go to the upstairs of the house since it is so messy that I would consider it a health hazard (and infact later Günter's sibling told us they found a dead mouse when they went to bed the night before). Well, my kids insisted on dragging 3 women up there that were no suppose to see it (Günter's posh cousin, his brothers new girlfriend and a cousin's new girlfriend). My kids are causing all kinds of havoc in the family.
So that was the holiday so far.
On Thursday I took advantage of having Günter around to watch the kids and went to the hair dresser. The day before I put highlights in my hair (so I looked a bit better for Günter's family) but the hair dresser confronted me and asked if I did it myself. Of course I said yes. Then I went to a spa. I have needed a pedicure (26 euros) for a long time. I have horrible callouses on my large toes and my heels are so dry that I hate how they feel on the sheet in bed. So I got that done and a parafin wax treatment (12 euros)to make them especially soft. It was expensive (and in euros so if you consider the exchange rate it was even worse). And I thought since I was there to get a facial. They talked me into this algea one (for 39 euros). Well I thought the pedicure was pricey but the facial a rip off! It seemed she washed my face with what seemed like Mary Kay face wash and then put a refeshener on then a "mask" (more like a scrub) then the algea mask (on for 30 minutes). Afterward I didn't feel like I had more energy in my face and the black heads are still there (do I have to take them out myself now?). It just makes me sick to spend money foolishly.
Then I went to a friend's house (who is in the states) and made a fire and watched TV, read books and relaxed in the sauna and finally went to bed on the tempur bed. I wish I could say I woke up so relaxed but I didn't.
Then I returned home to a messy house and after we got the kids ready for a dinner we were invited to they cancelled so we took the kids out shopping. Woo Hoo.
Tomorrow I think we will take them to the swimming pool.
There you have it--that's the holidays so far!
We had the German congregation Christmas party on Saturday. There are some different traditions (which I will mention later in the post) that I am still trying to reconcile. Just before the party I took Jenna out to do some shopping (Günter had Niki) when we arrived at the program she was pretty sick--had a fever (later I discovered it was 102) and just sat on my lap all night (which was much easier for me to manage her.
Here is the program where they were tossing candy for the kids to gather.
Then the children all come up to the front and sing some song that bring the Weihnachtmann in. He actually was our good friend, and he assured us that the kids would not be able to tell it is him--and they didn't. He had a golden book and told the kids some good things they did and some bad (he gathered info from the parents). Then he gives them a sack of goodies. It was a late night for the kids and between Jenna being sick and Niki losing it with all the sugar/chocolate, I was ready for it to be over!
Now that the kids are older we are trying to figure out what traditions to have or to combine. In my family we got to pick one gift to open on Christmas eve and the rest were opened with the entire family on the 25th (sometimes one person opening all then the next or each taking a turn--either way it was a long morning because we had 8 kids!) There was one unwrapped gift with each child's name from Santa that we could play with until our parents came and we could open all the gifts. Günter's family (an dmost Germans) open their gifts on Christmas eve. They have St. Nicholas Tag on 6 December where they get their shoes (or sock/stocking) filled but we did it so the children had their stocking full when they came down in the morning of the 25th.
I really don't want to have the kids get too much--either sweets or gifts so that they don't appreciate them, so I am not sure what to do. Should I just abondon the stockings now that we had them on the 6th? We have agreed that we will open one gift on Christmas eve and leave the rest for Christmas day. But they always have the gifts from the Weihnachtmann rather than from specific people and I like that except the kids can't give thanks properly to people. So we have a mixture of that too. Lastly, the Germans have the big dinner/program on the 24th and we will probably stick to that rather than a big Christmas dinner on 25th. On the 26 we will drive to his parents and have the big cake party (Kaffee--even though we drive tea and Küchen) with the extended family--Aunts/Uncles and cousins. After they leave Günter's siblings will have a dinner and we will exchange the gift from the names we drew.
But it is not over since there are a few more parties on the weekend then New Years!
Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah!
I am always so happy when we reach 21 December because it means that the sun will start to stay longer each day. I so much need the sunlight to feel good.
I having been working frantically to get all the things done for the season. Today I mailed out the DVD's so I am glad that is done. I thought I would be able to just mail them since they are in a regular card envelope and it turns out I had to fill out a customs form on every last one. Ugh. But I am glad it is finished.
Another thing on my mind right now is that today was the kids last day for their respective KiGas. It will be nice that I don't have to under pressure to get Jenna ready to go out the door by 7:45. Last week and this she has come home from KiGa bearing lots of gifts and food. It has been a Christmas party fest there apparently. But I agonized a bit if I should have gotten a little gift for all her teacher and for the bus driver and assistant. I know the bus driver and asst. gave her a present (since I was there). I decided not to because it is their job (and they are paid) and I had no idea what to get them.
I don't know if I mentioned this in past years (and I am too lazy to go back and read) but I really struggle with gift giving. I know it always bothered me as a child because I was 3rd of 8 and it was hard to come up with gifts for all with the money I had. I saw how most of the things I did get were tossed aside and meant nothing even though I thought hard about what to get them. As I grew up I agonized because I could think of what would be a great gift for friends and others but didn't have the funds. Because of this I never liked giving gifts. I don't know what others have and if it is my hard-earned money, I wnat it to be something useful or needed, but at least liked by the person. Sometimes I have had to just give a token gift because that is all I could do, but I hate that. I don't like the pressure of all the fit giving to so many people. I can handle it with my kids and a few close friends (and it is no problem with sending out home-made things like my DVDs because I know no one has them and will always like them!) and a family photo. Some people's love language is gifts but mine is not! I remember that gifts and things are just tokens of the real gift, which should be ourselves--that I am always happy to give!
I pulled off the party. But at the last minute people cancelled so it was only our neighbor friends (2 girls) and for 30 minutes another girl came. I sent Jenna to her REHA KiGa because it would be easier if I didn't have to manage her in the middle of everything.
Niki was really good about helping out. He likes to set the table and help with whatever I ask him to do. We started off by making graham cracker houses. My mother started this tradtion with us when I was in grade school and I used to love it. We got to decorate 3 and give them away to friends. We always ate more than we put on the house (as I suspect my kids did too). I have to use Wilton merange for hardened frosting to put the houses together and softer for the kids to glue things.
I was trying to stall until the other girl came to play the games and just as we were clearing the table from the houses they showed up. We played pass the parcel (a UK favorite) where you wrap boxes in boxes and have a toy at each level. The music is played and the kids pass it around the circle and when the music stops the child gets to open that level and take the toy/treat. Then we did a hot potato version with a car called "hotrod" and then threading the car through your shirt then doing a ring-around-the-rosie but ring around the car (the kids all giggled about this one).
Then we had the cake. I didn't have a form so I didn the best I could in figuring out how to make a car.
Then the kids played a little and they all went home.
When Jenna came home around 4 pm I let her make a house too.
She was so happy doing it and didn't want it to end (but was just throwing red vine on the top at the end) and I had to get the table ready for friends that were coming to dinner, so it ended in a giant tantrum.
It was nice to have our friends over--the kids adore them. But I was so exhausted by the end. I am so partied out. I hate cake right now and just want my house to be my own.
But I am glad Niki had a nice few days with his celebrations and now I must try to get caught up and get the DVDs done and other Christmas preparations.
All week I was working up to this day. I broke down the tasks into the 3 days and was pretty well sticking to it, even though I didn't feel like it. Right now Niki doesn't understand, but I don't want him to think in the future that his birthday just gets lost in the holiday season and so I want to make it special.
I dejunked (well, I relocated the junk from rooms people likely will see), I made a red car cake (doesn't really look like Lightning McQueen--oh, well), found games and got them ready, made up party bags, made graham cracker houses for them to decorate, coordinated a booth and made and dressed us in costumes for a church Christmas party called "A Night in Bethlehelm" on Friday evening (where this all occured):
Just to get a terrible virus on Saturday morning where I it was coming out both ends and I had to cancel the kids party. Günter did agree to go ahead with his family dinner in the evening and I would stay in bed, so Niki got a little party.
Mercifully it seems to be only a 24 hour virus (and that seems to fit what Niki had on our trip) so I am well now. I decided to have the party tomorrow (Monday) as a make-up because the cake is still good.
I stayed home from church today and when Günter came home he was sick, so I guess Jenna is next. Oh joy, and this week is just as hectic as well as next week. I can't wait for things to get back to a slower pace.
Then this...
resulted in this:
I love you my little guy and so glad you were born! You are my miracle! Happy 3rd birthday!
We attempted another family trip--this time to visit friends in Erlangen and visit the famous Nürnberg Christmas Market.
The trip did not get off to a good start. On Saturday Günter bought some brake pads for his car and wanted to install them but when he tried, they were the wrong ones and the shop was closed. He had to get it done before we returned from the trip as he needed to go to work with the car on Thursday (today). So Monday he went there early and called to say that he could leave the car there while we are on our trip and they could do it. I had planned on him coming home to help get the car packed etc, but that all fell on me. I was rushing around trying to plan for all kinds of weather (rain, snow, cold) and think of all the things we would need (incredible since this is only a 2 night stay-over) including toys to entertain them for the 4 hour ride. The kids wanted to sit in the car, so I let them while I wildly ran around the house throwing things down the stairs to pack. Then I drove to pick up Günter at the dealership and we got on the road. I was pretty tense and the trip had only began.
It got worse.
Niki fell asleep while we were driving so we stopped at a Burger King for lunch about 1:30. It was only about 40 minutes later that he vomited. I didn't realize all he ate until then. It was so disgusting. We had to stop the car on the autobahn while trucks and cars wizzed by at top speed. We used all we could to clean it up and take off his clothes. I found some of Jenna's pajama's first and thought it was better to put those on rather than dig around more. I could hardly wait until the next exit so we could stop and I could do a proper cleaning of myself and rinse out the clothes before the odor stayed in the car. When we stopped I ran in and found that they charged money (which I didn't bring in with me) to use the bathroom so I ditched under the turn-sty when no one was looking. I justified this on many levels and one being I wasn't using the toliet. Anyhow, I rinsed out the clothes and was disgusted even more to dig out chunks in the sink drain. When I came out Günter was standing by Niki while he vomited even more. So we had to change those clothes. I found one more pair of Jenna's clothes and did the same clean-up procedure. Since we were closer to our friend's home than our own, we decided to continue.
The car still stank even when we arrived. Our friends just had their 4th child 3 weeks ago and I felt terrible adding to the mother's stress by our troubles. I quickly gave Niki a bath and they had dinner on the table. Niki was acting normally--no fever or other symptoms so we thought he must have been car sick (great!). He was very hungry so we let him eat dinner. That was another mistake because as soon as he got off his (white leather) seat he vomited again. Back to the bath. I was running low on clothes so the mother lent me some. We just let him have dry toast and a little water. While the mother was loading the dish washer (and I was talking to her) Niki came in and vomited again--in the dishwasher. Back to the tub. I wasn't enjoying this trip at all.
A little later the door bell rang and some other friends (that were visiting thier family in the city) stopped by. They were the ones we visited the last road trip where Jenna screamed hysterically all night, which made us vow not to travel again with the kids for a long time. We visited with them and it was so nice to see them again.
When it came time to put the kids to bed (at 8pm) I took the opportunity to stay in the room with them and go to sleep too. It was not a fun or pleasant day.
On Tuesday they had some doctors apointments in the morning so we took showers and let the kids play. Unfortunately Niki climbed on their bunk bed and threw a flashlight down and broke the glass. We decided to go shopping to buy a new one that he would give when he apologized to the boys. I love the GPS because it could so easily lead us to a shopping mall (not many in Germany--but they had one). It was fun to do a little shopping. We returned and Niki did his apologies and we had lunch. Then the kids took naps. After they got up around 2:30 we planned to go to Nürnberg to the Christmas market but things kept coming up and we didn't leave until 4 pm and get there at 4:40. By that time it was getting dark, which was nice since we could see the lights.
We took the kids on some of the rides:
but as before we used up all our tickets it started down pouring rain. It was miserable. We went into a booth and thought we would go home since our friend had her newborn and it was not really fun for anyone.
We decided to go through the main market quickly then go. Luckily the rain had stopped, but it was cold. Believe it or not, it was so crowded (on a rainy Tuesday) that we could barely managed getting our strollers through the crowds.
The best thing really is the Lebküchen. It really is something fantastic--even though it is very expensive.
We got home right around 8 pm and put the kids right to bed. I just have to say Niki didn't get sick at all for the rest of the trip--so it was a weird 1 day thing.
On Wednesday we got ready and packed out the car. Then we had time to do a little shopping and the kids played. We had a little lunch then were back on the road. We had to pick up the car before 5 pm. The kids really loved the baby.
The Niki slept most of the way home and Jenna was good too. When we had to pick up the car and Günter left to drive it home Jenna had one of the worst tantrums ever. For the entire 30 minute drive home she kicked and screamed and cried. She signed over and over that she wanted papa and wanted to go back to our friends house and play (it isn't easy trying to look at her signs in the rear-view mirror while driving).
Then when we got home they had to eat and we had to unload the car. This week is busy with our church Christmas party and Niki's birthday tomorrow.
I hope I can pull off the next few days.
Today is a favorite day of all children in Germany--last night they were to polish their best shoes and place them outside the door and in the night St. Nikolaus comes and fills them with goodies and presents. We used the American stocking instead (next year hopefully we use the shoes so there is some difference) and just put them outside the door this morning. Nevertheless, the kids were quite excited to look out the little window and see them and bring them in.
Now we are on a whole new level of hyperness until they crash and get grumpy (but hopefully it will happen when they are at KiGa--I am sure all the kids will be like that today).
Jenna is so into sorting these days that she had to sort all the tangerines and kiwis and nuts into piles (after she ate chocolate to her content). Günter enjoyed the Christstolen (Christmas bread--with marzipan in the middle and rolled in powder sugar). I nabbed a bite or two off the kids but don't feel into the sugar stuff yet.
Typical of this age and language developmental stage, Niki mixes up letters and sounds. He says "Christsam time". While we read christmas books he has picked up on the pictures that show baby Jesus in the manager and gets worried that the cows will eat him. When I said that won't happen he said that the cows will eat his bed. This boy cracks me up!
I chuckle now whenever Niki speaks German. He really emphasizes the gutteral sounds. When he wants to say macht (make) at the end he sounds like he will huck up a big lugie! He just wants to master the sounds and he can say some sounds that I can't--some of the umlaud sounds are very different and I can't get my tongue to say it right. It is amazing that he won't have an accent in either language. My husband speaks "Hoch Duetsch" (high German) and not the Pfalzer dialect. The dialect even is hard for me. In our region the people will say "Guten Morschen" rather than Guten Morgan (good morning) as well as other words. I hope Niki doesn't pick up the dialect but stays with the high German because it is more respected (and generally spoken by more educated people).
He seems to understand so many things now and it ever surprising me with his questions or his correction of things I say simply to him.
Jenna is really into sorting these days. She goes around collecting Snowmen from ornaments and decorations and piles them up. She also has done this with Santas. It is quite cute.
Today we had our last Music Together class. Niki has really enjoyed it and I have noticed a lot of growth with his musical abilities recently. He now will sing the songs--but the word will be a second later than you sing it. He tries to go up and down on notes and will sing a song by himself. I hope he continues to enjoy music.
The last two days Jenna has been putting diapers on me. Yes, it is humiliating. She makes me lay down then will put them under me and get out the wipes and cleans me (over my clothes of course). Niki protests and tells her that I am a big girl and use the potty, but Jenna insists. Speaking of which, Niki goes around telling me all the big people that wear panties (I try to call them underware to him and panties to Jenna--but it is hard to keep straight) and even embarrassed some of his KiGa teachers by saying they go potty and wear panties. That isn't something most adults go around discussing or want announced. The joys of this age!
I finally seem to have some free time. Earlier in the week I had apointments and visits and house cleaning, so I couldn't do anything I wanted to do. But now I can. Since the Christmas decorations are all out (big sigh of relief) and most presents bought, I can work on the Christmas newsletter and the year of pictures/videos of our kids. I still need to get a family photo taken to send out since that is what our family agreed to do for a gift this year.
After my Dad's DVD and organizing my mothers family pictures and burning them on a CD (to be sent out with our Christmas DVD) I have dreaded another project of compiling pictures and videos. But the kids LOVE to watch them from past years (especially of when they were babies) and I am committed to having my family and friends feel like they know my kids a bit since I have chosen to live in another country.
If you would like to have a copy, just email me doublemom (at) gmail (dot) com with your address and I will send one along. I am aiming for the beginning of January, but who knows, maybe I can get them done sooner.
I still need to go take a shower and vaccume the house before I go get Niki at KiGa. Right now everyone is healthy in our house and that is so very nice!
In a couple of weeks Niki turns 3--I can hardly believe it! At the same time I am amazed at just what he can do at this age. Tonight we were reading a book about colors and came to the color brown. He named all the rest correctly but this one he called it "chocolate"--I guess my example is louder than what I teach!
I got out the Christmas decorations and such and was reading both of the kids some books. As I was reading my simplified version of Rudolf and saying how the other reindeer called him names and wouldn't play with him, Niki said "He goes home to his mama and she play with him." Isn't that enough to melt your heart? Glad to know that in his mind he knows that I will always be his friend and love him even if others are mean to him. Then he wanted to tell ME stories. He started making up nonsense stuff that I couldn't even follow about socks and glasses. Truly this is an amazing age.
Along with other Christmas decorations I got out some candles. Niki is so excited about his birthday coming up--really all he understands is he gets a party. He keeps telling people he wants at his party. Since there were candles in the Christmas stuff I let him "practice" blowing out the candles. Well, I was doing other things and let Günter supervise--which was the wrong thing. Soon I smell something bad and Günter is telling me that we can't let them play with candles. I smelled Niki's hair and knew he had singed it. Then as Jenna was eating dinner I see her eyelashes and brow is singed too. I was so mad that I shamed Günter that the kids never get hurt when I am supervising, but why when he is does everything happen... This is life with an untreated ADD husband, I think.
Anyhow, I must remember to write something to Jenna's teacher tomorrow so she doesn't think we are neglectful (or at least blame me) and turn us into the CPS eviqualent.
Let the season begin...
Yesterday when I picked Niki up from his KiGa one of the other American mothers was waiting too. She asked me if I celebrate Thanksgiving now. I said "Oh course! I am still American!" Then she mumbled something about wondering if my husband supports it. I was annoyed, but explained that in dual-cultural families they usually celebrate holidays from BOTH cultures! With that idea, here is what I am thankful for in my life right now:
*being American--I still think it is the greatest country on earth, despite political issues and leaders. Our country has sacrificed greatly over the years to defend freedom and the causes of freedom. Our country is generous in forgiving debts and supplying humanitarian aid without a thought to having anything in return. Our country has one of the highest standards of livings in the world. We are a well-educated people in general. We have some of the best health care in the world (despite all the complaints).
*being able to talk. This year I have seen how frustrating it can be when you can't communicate and using sign language has a great many limitations, one of the biggests being you can't hold something at the same time as you are "talking".
*our health. That being said, Günter and Niki and I had a blood test to see if the strep virus had infected our blood. Günter's antibodies are increasing--so he is good, and Niki doesn't have it in his blood (big sigh of relief) but it has infected my blood. But I still feel relatively healthy and have a good body and am greatful for that!
*enough money for our needs. I am glad that Günter likes his job and it is stable and provides us enough to meet our needs. We don't and can't live in a huge house or do extravagant things, but we have enough to be generous.
*my membership in my church and the priviledge of being able to worship in my native tongue while living in Germany. I have God that is ever loving, forgiving and kind to me. I have truth and peace.
*I have children when I know many of those that were struggling with fertility issues at the same time I was, have not ended up so fortunately. We had a relatively easy adoption and I am ever grateful that I can be a mother--it pushes me to grow and develop a deeper character (even though I whine about it occasionally).
*I have supportive and loving family and friends. If you are reading this then you are for sure included in this. You must care enough about me to keep up with me and leave comments that give me perspective and support.
Thank you for yet another year of blogging friendship and love!
Today I looked in the backyard and saw a little animal, but it wasn't a cat! I quickly got Niki's shoes and jacket on and we went out. He named him Tom and said that Tom likes our yard because he likes to goes down the slide. Funny.
Of course I have been on the internet looking at ways to intice a wild hedgehog to want to live in our yard (since they like to eat slugs...how can I refuse?). I cut up some apple and carrots and he ate a little but then went to the corner where I think he got it. He is likely looking for a place to hibernate. I wish he would use our wood pile or something. I feel quite desperate that I want him to be our pet! At least I hope he stays until Jenna and Günter come home so they can meet Tom.
Meira linked to this and I am jumping on the band wagon. Link here to read to see more.
Although my purpose is to have some record of my kids lives and have family and friends feel that they are a part of my life even though I live across the world I at times post less due to my life hecticness. But I promise not to apologize, that is my vow.
I am sorry I have to report any more illness-related concerns but Günter has been home all week (getting stir-crazy) waiting for the labs to come back on his blood. He met with the doctor today and the doctor asked if he was not doing well because his blood result were of great concern. Not only does he have the Streppococus virus but some other bacterias in his blood and his immune system is seriously compromised. He is not allowed to return to work--despite his begging (he said it is more stressful at the house than at work). So next week are more tests for him. Hopefully he can return to work soon.
I have to admit it has been nice having him here because he did a huge project of scanning my mother's family pictures into digital form. He also made apointments for Jenna's tests (in Feburary), watched a season of "Everybody Loves Raymond" and has been helping out with the kids.
The last few days I have been dealing with a personal crisis so it has been nice to have him here for support.
Yes! Things are looking up in all our lives. Niki has been taking the antibiotic and seems to be his old self again except for a really bad hacking cough. Günter is going back to the doctor today to have his blood tested to see if he is still contagious--that will determine if he goes back to work this week or not. Niki can't return tohis KiGa until his cough is better. What made the biggest difference was when Niki turned the corner and began feeling better so he could sleep in the night. I am getting sleep again and we are all much better!
Plus Saturday one of my dear friends rescued me and we met on base for some shopping and lunch then she talked her massage therapist to working me in. He did a lot of deep tissue massage and I must say I am a bit sore today even. He did chiropratic work too by popping some of my vertabrae back into place.
An added bonus was that I got to go to church without the kids! I could conentrate and get filled a bit spiritually, so this week is looking good already.
The weather here is now frosty and cold in the morning but the sun is shining right now (yesterday was drizzling rain--yuck).
I am glad I have at least this blog to record what my life really was like during these years and I am glad to share it with others and get support!
I have been biten, pinched, slapped, pushed and spit up on, peed on, but the worst is by far is to be vomited on, by my children. Nobody tells you about this when you sign up!
I have become very desperate these last few days. I am sure a lot of it has to do with my lack of sleep. Niki starts off in his own bed but after screaming hysterically two hours after he has slept, I move him to my bed (Günter was sleeping in the guest room because of the exposure factor). I can't really sleep with him there because between his hacking coughs (that sometimes sound barking and scaring me it is croup) he has his Darth Vader breathing. The worst is when he tries only to breath through his stuffed nose and I hear nothing when there should be an exhale and inhale breath. I wake him up and tell him to breath out of his mouth. The whole thing brings up all my anxiety (which I am prone to naturally) about my greatest fear of a child dying. I say it once more, this is all amplified by my lack of sleep for several days.
That all set the stage for what happened yesterday. Niki has refused to take his antibiotic. The first one literal made him throw up since it "taste yucky" (and also is responsible for the beginning of this post). Then, in self preservation, he would clamp his lips closed and when we came near him with the medicine would cover both hands over his mouth and shake his head. Then we went ot the doctor and got a different antibiotic and when we did manage to get the syringe in his mouth, he promptly spit it out. This happened several times and each required a change of clothes for him and myself! I was yelling by that time and told him he will never get well (and I will never sleep again!) unless he takes it! Then we tried again and he spit it out. After taking off his clothes I beat his clothes on the couch pillow I was so angy. Then I started crying thinking we would run out of medicine and I would have to go sit in a doctors office for anothe hour and may or may not get more from the doctor.
All this leads my anxiety and I started crying, then begging him to take it then bribing him with anything I could think of. I could handle life. I felt just like I did during child birth and said "I can't do this". I wanted to run away and escape my life. But I can't ask anyone to help because then they will be exposed, so I have to go on.
I wish I would have known this on all those Mother's Day at church when I thought I couldn't be a mother and grieved. As soon as I get some sleep and get Niki on his way to being healthy I know I will have a different perspective. I hope.
BTW, we did get the hot water heater fixed (cost 300 euros=$420) so at least we have had hot water all week!
Okay, this is not funny. I just can't bear going to the doctor again for maybe 3 months. But I had to today because Niki was so sick. Again. They called me from the KiGa yesterday to come get him since he had a high fever and hacking cough. Last night he had watery eyes and was lethargic. Today when I took him to the doctor he definitely had pink eye and...drum roll, please...scarlet fever. Yes. He has big red spots on his tongue. Poor guy is on a host of medicines and we are quarrentined again. I don't know how he got exposed when he was on antibiotics during the exposure time. The big risk really is rheumatic fever that can develop. That is how a friend of ours brother died (he had scarlet fever but must have had the rheumatic fever which weakened his heart and he had heart failure at 13). He has vomited and now won't eat anything because, "it make me drow up" (which sound like grow up).
This has got to stop. I never thought I was a sickly person but our family seems to be that lately.
Hot water...how we take it for granite! Our house is heated by coils that run hot water under the tiles, like this:
The water heater is not a huge round monstrosity but is about the size of a piece of carry-on luggage. Such a small thing can cause such a big crisis in our house. It began on Saturady morning when I got in the shower. There must have been enough hot water in reserve because I was able to get rinsed and about to put the shampoo in my hair but was stopped with a stream of cold water on my body. I turned the nozzel down to see if it was a temporary but discovered it wasn't. Then I called out to Günter to see if he could reset the water heater. I was shivering in the shower getting more and more irritated by the situation. The last time this happened to me too. Why doesn't it happen to Günter? Anyhow the kids came in and I was asking Günter what was taking so long and if he could hurry because I was freezing. Finally he decided he couldn't fix it and I got out. Luckily I didn't have to rinse in icy water like the last time!
What it meant is that none of us could take a shower/bath on Saturday or Sunday and the guy will come out today (Monday) to fix it in the evening. I don't have any friend here that I would consider asking to let us all come over and use their shower/bath--it is a personal thing and people don't all keep their bathrooms clean enough for others to come use at a moments notice.
We came up with an alternative plan...go to the swimming pool. Which we did around 5 pm. I was a little embarrassed about how I looked in public, but as soon as I could, I got my hair wet. After the swimming fun we had the not-so-fun experience of showering publically. They don't have seperate stalls but it is a big room and all ages of women were showering without any privacy. You have to push a button to turn on the water and it sprays for about 2 minutes so after showering Jenna (Günter took Niki) I had to do myself AND try to keep track of a 3.5 year old energetic girl (that wouldn't do anything I told her).
I hope the repairman comes with all the parts tonight and I can have a decent shower!
It was a scary day in more ways than one--because my head was spinning around and my eyeballs popping out and I pulled out most of my hair. I took Niki to KiGa and then ran Jenna to the doctor (apointment 9:10) and we waited for 15 minutes, which turned into 30 minutes and then 45. It was particulary annoying because Jenna was ill and crabby. Finally I asked at the front desk and they said we were next and to go to room 5 and wait. We waited another 25 minutes and Jenna was screaming by that time (and I surely wanted to). When the doctor came in she asked what we wanted! She looked at Jenna's plantar wart and said to continue treatments as we were and see her in 6 weeks. And I thought...there is no way I am coming back! We then had to wait another 10 minutes to get the liquid nitrogen on her wart and we left.
To the next doctor. I hadn't called but just showed up and the receptionist said they were closing in 30 minutes and didn't think we could be seen. Great. Finally she agreed when I told her how serious I thought it was. Jenna was placed on antibiotics for bronchitis that was close to pnemonia! We got a host of perscriptions and I had to go to the Pharmacy (with Jenna protesting) next.
Unfortunately I had to stop at my doctor too to drop off a form that needed to be signed and waited there for 15 minutes. Then I heard the doctors voice and thought he would sign it and I could leave, but after he took his next patient in I saw the receptionist didn't even ask him. I asked them if it would be signed today or to come back and she said to come next week. Great. That is when I returned to the car and pulled all my hair out.
We barely got to Niki's KiGa in time to pick him up and I took the kids home and gave them lunch and put them down for naps. After the naps I wanted to try on costumes to see what they would wear to the church party. I know I probably should have stayed home with Jenna but I didn't want them to miss out on the fun. Jenna was still just snuggled in the couch and not moving a whole lot.
I got out the stuff and asked Niki what he wanted to dress up as and he said a white rattle. Go figure. So we did!
Then we tried on the other options:
As you can see in this one he hated the hat (I can rarely get him to put them on).
I tried very hard to get Jenna to try any on but she refused. The time came to force them both into costumes and leave. We went trick or treating around a few neighbors home.
This little boy goes to Jenna's ReHa KiGa (not in her class though).
Then we drove to the church for the party. Günter joined us after he was finished conducting a funeral (so he joked his costume was a funeral director!).
Jenna didn't act too sick, so that was good.
There was two times Jenna was terrified and cried hysterically and one was when she saw this man in a mask (look in the picture with Günter in back of the man in black--you can barely see him) and I asked someone in charge to get him to take it off.
After the games and the chili and spooky desert contests, we did trunk or treat around the parking lot. I am going to save the candy to make our graham cracker houses for Christmas (it is all sugar so should last another month).
So there you have the scary day.
Today Niki dragged a diningroom chair over to the amoir and turned to Günter and I an said, "Don't look at me!" then proceded to turn on the stereo (which I don't let him do). I couldn't help but laugh, even though I should have enforced my limit.
Today when I took Jenna out to the bus they told me that Wed-Fri were off for a holiday (which in only on Thursday but I guess they bunch more days with it). So I was not too thrilled to think I will only have a few days this week to get anything done. Then I rushed Niki to his KiGa and went home to shower and went off to do visits to ladies in our church. When I picked up Niki the director told me that my husband called and said Jenna is sick and I needed to pick her up. Niki was crying by this time because we didn't say goodbye to someone and I could go back and get it right since I wanted to go get Jenna. He threw a fit most of the way until, in desperation, I broke out a package of gummi bears that were in the glove box (for just such occasions) and gave them to him.
It was sad to see Jenna. She has a high fever (102) and circles under her eyes and is lethargic. Not my Jenna, that is for sure. I get quite insecure at calling these situations and usually ere on the side of caution. She was on antibiotics last week for the scarlet fever exposure and NOW she is sick. Did she get it even after all this? Should I rush her right into the doctor or wait it out? Well, since it was lunch time I decided to wait it out. She has been very easy--just sitting on the couch and not moving much, not protesting either. Hard not to enjoy her being sick...
But I am so done with all the sickness in our home! Good excuse to stay in pajamas! Don't look at ME!
Today (officially at 2 am) began the European Daylight Savings time. America starts in another week (on 4 Nov). Why they can't have it uniformly across the world, I'll never understand. The same goes for Arizona not participating. It makes calling people and figuring their time zones hard. Not even to mention trying to find all the obscure clocks and remembering how to reset the cordless phone ones, car, and the DVD and satelite reciever boxes. Ugh. The worst part is that the children don't care about it at all and Niki woke up at his normal 5:30 am, which was 4:30 am on the clock!
I was curious to learn about why we do it. Read about it here. I liked the part where Benjamin Franklin's idea was just to have people wake up an hour earlier in the summer!
Reasonings & pros/cons in brief fromt he link:
PROS: Adding daylight to afternoons generally benefits retailing, sports, and other activities that exploit sunlight after working hours, can give greater exposure to the sun's vitamin D, help decrease SAD, cut traffic fatalities
CONS: DST's clock shifts complicate timekeeping and can disrupt meetings, travel, billing, recordkeeping, medical devices that have timers, and heavy equipment. DST is said to save electricity by reducing the need for artificial evening lighting--but the evidence for this is weak, and DST can boost peak demand, increasing overall electricity costs.
Note:fire safety officials encourage citizens to use the two annual clock shifts as reminders to replace batteries in smoke and carbon monoxide detectors.
particularly when DST rules change.
On Thursday I had a therapy apointment (glad I found a good one over here) and knew it was going to be a difficult morning. Jenna has a bad cold and so she wanted to sleep even later in the morning but I had to get her up so she could be ready before her bus came. She was in a terrible mood--cranky and with a pathetic voice that comes with a cough and sore throat. In the end I had to dress her against her will and while she was having a full blown tantrum. It takes super-strength (which I don't have since I am still recovering from my illness) and I was spent afterwards. But I still had to have Niki ready to go and pack Jenna's backpack with bibs, snacks and extra clothing.
Before her bus came I wanted to put Niki in the car since I knew the schedule was tight, but that was a bad plan. Jenna suddenly wanted to go in the car too and was upset and didn't want to go on the bus. So I had to get Niki out and wait until after Jenna left in her bus. Then I took Niki but they were resurfacing the road by the KiGa and I had to park the car on anothe block and walk him in.
Off I drove and did manage to get there in time. I really like this therapist (only the 2nd time). She is married to an American even though she is German and German-trained (to the highest level in Psychology) so she doesn't mind using English. We covered some interesting areas--like my high expectations of myself and others (in really comes into problems with others but also myself).
Afterwards (just before 10 am) I had to srive like a maniac to make the eye doctor apointment. I knew I wouldn't make it so called and told them I would be 15 minutes late. After all that I got to the location and even found parking (!) and ran up the 3 flights of stairs only to see a sign saying they had moved! Arrggghhh. So I went to the new location after having a hard time finding it and parking (this is in a downtown area of Landstuhl). Once in I waited and waited (which I expected since I missed my time) but eventually I knew I had to go pick up Jenna (since she was sick) and drive (20 minutes) to get Niki before 12. Well, they got me in to see the doctor and he asks ME why I was there. I reminded him that he wanted to retest me and I didn't remember why. Then he looked up my case on his computer. He told me it would take 30 minutes (which I didn't have) and must reschedule---Arrggghhh! I am sure he charged the insurance for my visit even though he saw me for 2 minutes and that is about how long he sees the people from the overcrowded waiting room. What a job! I think Optomologist have it better than dentists and doctors hands down!
I got Jenna and drove like crazy to get to Niki in time--which I did. I barely pulled it off but Jenna threw a fit because she wanted to stay in Niki's KiGa and play. I had to carry her out throwing a fit. I could only get the top of her seat belt on since she was arching her back and kicking the back of the front seat. But the house was not far so I got home and had to deal with her.
I was frazzeled. I tried to get them lunches and get them to their naps since I thought that would be the only solution for any of us.
Yesterday Niki was the one that became "unhinged". I think that really describes what it was. It is rare that he loses it, and I am not sure what was underneath, but not being able to get his pancake on the fork is what triggered it. He gets so hysterical that he runs from room to room throwing himself on chairs then running as fast to another location to do the same all while crying and sobbing. He wants hot chocolate milk, no. He wants pancakes, no. He wants...finally I said he was going to bed and he carried him upstairs while he was crying uncontrollably while attempting to negotiate a way out with me. It would be funny to watch as an outsider, but frankly I am tired of all the resistance around here! No one listens to me and it seems that everything has to be done the hard way. Welcome to the home of a 2 and 3 year old! I am the only that is loosing the hinges altogether!
He just makes me laugh. For the most part he eats about anything--vegetables, fruits etc. but lately he refuses things and say "Make me drow up". I guess this comes from his understanding of when he was so sick he was throwing up.
He is really into this gender thing lately. I decided to use the correct terms in teaching him. He has to have something to call his pen*s, so that is what I taught him. He knows boys have one and girls don't. He was looking at a picture in our house of Jesus and said that Jesus had one and I had to agree. Günter is dreading the day when he says something about it in public or to others. Today he was sitting on the last step of the stairs and wanted Jenna to sit on his lap but soon said, "Jenna no break my peni*s".
He also is now using Yes rather than yup or yeah. He sounds so sure of himself and so grown up. In our church we encourage Family Home Evening--one evening set aside a week to do a family activity or lesson building faith. When we told Niki it was time for FHE he said "to look at pictures" (honestly that is all we can figure out to interst them and the "lessons" are only 3 minutes long). Since it was a bit late we thought of skipping the traditional treat and just moved into the bedtime routine but Niki protests and said "FHE treats now!" We couldn't deny it. I am not allowed to get away with anything now.
But that doesn't stop him from trying to get away with things. He always comes up with excuses so he doesn't have to go to bed. He wants to "play a lil bit more" or "I need to go potty"--wants to sit there for 30 minutes. It will be interesting to see what he comes up with as his imagination grows.
Jenna is the one with a miserable cold right now. Her nose is stuffed up and she is drooling even worse than normal. She can't sleep at night because she usually has her binki (yes, I know we need to break her of it, but not now) in her mouth but can't breath now. Her cough is pretty chesty and deep. I feel for her.
Today was the apointment with the Developmental Pediatrician (that was given to us 2 months ago), who just so happens to be a neighbor (I see her husband each day walking the dog but never have met her). Last Friday I reminded Günter of the apointment and he told me he had an important business meeting that would conflict, so I would have to go it alone. It is a bit stressful because I am never sure if the other person speaks English and if my German can get me by (and in emotional and techincal things it really can't). I had to work things out logistically too since I had to have Niki watched since the apointment was at 1 pm (his nap time). I finally decided to cancel his morning KiGa and ask if they would take him in the afternoon. in the morning I had time to research and type out a choronogical list of all the services she has had since 5 month old. If you want to read all the details just pull it down in the extended entry.
When I called Günter in the morning he said he mixed up his meeting time and he was able to go but would barely make it by 1 pm. I had Niki take an early nap (it worked since he is still recovering from his illness). Then I drove to the ReHa with about 35 minute to spare.
I decided to look up the OT, PT an ST and meet them. I asked someone who pointed out the OT and he spoke to me in German and I understood maybe 30% of what he said. Then the PT came by and she invited me to her room and pulle dout her chart and was going over things (which was good because I wasn't clear why she was getting PT). She said that Jenna has problems with pointing her toes inward and other things I can't recall right now. I think I understood 50% of what she said. Then they got the ST and all threee came together in the ST office and we had a good "team" meeting. Too bad I Günter wasn't there to truly understand things! But at least they have seen me and know I want to be involved. I asked what I could do in the home to reinforce progress and they said do what I have been.
I then picked up Jenna. She was so surprised and excited to see me. It was neat to see her eyes light up and she kept telling her teachers that I was mama--as if they didn't know! I took her to another set of buildings and up some stairs and saw her previous ST and was able to talk to her. Then Günter showed up and her current teacher in her class. Soon the doctor came out and we met. She said her husband even called to say we had an apointment and she was prepare and fine with speaking English (and her English was exceptional). She asked how we felt about the services and progress of Jenna at the ReHa and I had my chance to say I was happy about all the services but wished we could have more ST. She explain that between the 6 sessions of therapies during the week, and the time needed to bond with her group, that it really wasn't needed right now. Maybe once she has been there longer. She seemed to be aware of all the other reports and what Jenna's strengths and weaknesses are. I was quite impressed by her but she was unpretentious. I did mention how Jenna is very oppositional and the teacher agreed and said in German that Jenna (and another girl) are "both gun women" I guess meaning they are strong willed and like Annie Oakley. I laughed at that image, but it fits. In the end I was so pleased that the doctor agreed to write a recommendation to have Jenna get a MRI, chromosonal testing and another EKG (when she is sleeping) because she thougth it was quite dangerous with her walking and balance problems. I am so relieved that we can either find out some of the problem or at least rule out things.
So glad that it went well and I am very pleased with the treatment. This much I know, that we are getting our money's worth in the insurance and services!
• 18 Oct 2004 (Jenna age: 5 months ) Evaluated by Judy O’D******, PT from EDIS for concerns with fine and gross motor skills. DX: mild right torticollis.
• Feb 2005 (9 months) –Renate G**** Physiotherapy practice (saw another provider). Landstuhl 6 session since she was not opening her fists.
• 24 Oct 2005 (1 year 5 mo) Contacted ReHa and told it will be 4-6 weeks before we are given an appointment.
• 9 March 2006 (1 year 10 mo. ) ReHa Dr. A**** evaluation
• 14 March 2006-26 July 2007 (1 year 10 mo. ) ReHa Barbara M***** begin Speech Therapy (28 sessions in 2006, most sessions in 2007 during KiGa time)
• 21 March 2006 ReHa EKG 2 pm—normal results
• Mar/Apr 2006 Dr. B*****-S***, ENT for hearing tests—unsuccessful since she would pull out the nodes.
• 26 June 2006 (6 sessions) Jessica A**** worked on sensory integration issues
• 15 Sept 2006 (2 yrs 4 mo) ReHa eval with Kati E******* for KiGa
• 19 Oct 2006 begin ReHa KiGa Tu & Thurs 9-12:30pm end July 2007
• 30 Oct 2006 ReHa eval by Fra B**** for Ergotherapy (OT). Began therapy during KiGa time.
• July 2007 meeting with Fr.Kati E****** & psychologist Herr Ralf S***** to review progress and write report for social office to qualify for full time KiGa.
• 20 Aug 2007 (3 yrs 3 mo.) Intro to KiGa Wawunshels
• 21 Aug 2007 begin with Frau Ester K******* & Frau Thea T******** in KiGa Wawunshels
• Sept-Oct 2007 ReHa KiGa observation/evaluation of Jenna
• Sept 2007 ReHa KiGa begin Ergotherapy (OT) with Herr W***** 2x/week
• Sept 2007 ReHa KiGa begin Logopedia (ST) with Frau S*****2x/week
• Sept 2007 Günter spoke with Frau W********* about the speech therapy not beginning
• Sept 2007 ReHa KiGa begin Physiotherapy (PT) with Frau Anke B**** 2x/week
• 22 Oct. 2007 ReHa eval by Developmental Pediatrician Dr. S****-B****
Two weeks ago I was pretty sick and convinced the doctor to try antibiotics to deal with what I knew was an infection (achiness, fever, chills, dark yellow phlem and no energy). The standard of care must be different here in Germany since he only gave me 7 days of antibiotics (US is normally 10 days). After a few days I felt energy again and soon was better. I had one good week and got the very same symptoms this week.
I was discouraged and called the doctor to find out that they have vacations for 2 weeks. We found another doctor and went in last night. Niklas has similar symptoms but not as severe and I and the children were put on quarentin for Strep but with a Scarlet Fever type (but no rash). The doctor put me on Penecillian for 8 days now (closer) and Niki the same and Jenna as a precaution. Günter was banished to sleep in the guest room.
Quarentin simply means prision and more suffering for me since I can't rest but hope the antibiotics can make up for the difference. We can't go to church on Sunday either, so at least that is less stress staying at home.
By the way, when I went out to the bus yesterday Niki said, "Mama, no go outside in your pajama top!" Nice, now I can't get away with that either!
Last Saturday was a birthday party for a boy in our village. He was turning 5 but wanted to invite Niki and I am sure his mother insisted Jenna must be invited too (he is one of the kids in the neighborhood that doesn't like Jenna). I was a bit concerned about the day mainly because I don't know the cultural norms for children's birthday parties in Germany. I wasn't sure how much you are to spend on a gift or if it is a big production like some parties in the states and what the kids should wear or expect. This is the first party they have attended outside our home.
I had Günter ask at work since some of his colleagues have older boys and have been to parties. They said the general rule is not to spend more than 10 euros and each child should give a seperate gift (no lunping Jenna and Niki's together for a nicer one). I went to ToysRUs and agonized over what to get. The boy's mother suggested a jump rope but they didn't have any that weren't all foo-foo girly or in a child's size. I found a "Little Red Tractor" combine that I thought was great since the boy's father runs the organic farm in our village. I dressed the kids in normal clothes and Günter came with me and the kids.
At first the kids (5 including the bday boy) just played in the back yard. Then they went inside and palyed a little with balloons and had some juice and a little snack (this is where Jenna started having melt downs because she wanted to be just like the other kids and drink from a glass cup with a straw--which she can't do an frequently drops things and I didn't want broken glass there so we tried to assist her which resulted in her yelling and screaming to the point that Günter took her home for a while). Opening presents was not a big deal and he mainly did it while the kids played. But most all the toys were tossed aside--so why I worried about this I don't know--mental note for the future.
The mother then herded everyone upstairs to the kitchen area (yes, sometimes the homes are different than in America) and I saw a gabillion (it seemed) tractors and such toys, so no wonder the one I bought was nothing special. The kids played with the toys then they had the birthday cake. The bday boy lit the candles.
They sang "Alles Zum Geburtstag" in the Happy Birthday tune and he blew out the candles. The kids eat very little then they all went down stairs to play some little games. The adults (Oma's and Opa's etc) all stayed upstairs and ate even more cakes and had coffee. One of the games they played downstairs was to have a circle of small plastic animals and a child would be blind folded and another would choose some and put them in a bag and the blindfold was removed and the child had to guess which ones where gone. I am not sure what other games where played because the Oma came to invite me upstairs to eat cake and speak English to her. No other parents stayed with the kids which was another surprise to me.
After they were done with games they went outside to play again and Jenna returned. The mother then brought out bröchen and wursts for the kids to eat and gave each child a balloon and a bag of organic candies and lollies.
It was fun and rather low keyed so I am glad I got to see what one was like. I am not sure why Niki was invited since he is so much younger and the other kids were older, but I think he did a good job trying to keep up and be apart.
Speaking of which, I am very pleased with how his social skills are developing. Along another line, some funny things he said yesterday: "The moon and stars go to sleep in their bed and the sun wakes up." He surprised me the other day when he was brushing my hair and said that the bristols were coconut! I told them they weren't, but remembered he watched a show about how brushes were made and one had coconut bristols! His memory is phenominal. The big word he is using now is "Flabbergasted" instead of surprised. He says it in a funn way slurring all the words but it makes me laugh and I always ask him to repeat it. Since being sick the week before last he still has a lingering cough and it seems a fever blister inside his nose (which bleeds).
Jenna has a plantar's wart on the bottom of her foot (as do I) and we are treating it. She is doing so well when the doctor must freeze it with liquid nitrogen. It amazes me sometimes just how cooperative she can be. When I think she will tantrum she doesn't and when there really isn't a reason, she does. When we initially saw the doctor, as soon as she saw Jenna's foot she wanted to see mine. She said that kids either get warts from there parents or from swimming pools (which we do 1x/mo too). She also wanted to get her fungus treated (peeling skin between toes) and inspected me as the culprit but I already knew who to blame on that one--Günter! She gave a big lecture on how he needs to get treated or treating Jenna is in vain. I passed the info on and told him the doctor said to put pressure on him but he is a typical man and still hasn't made an apointment.
We have a lovely Lazy Boy recliner in our livingroom by the fire. Of course the kids love to rock in it (which is fine unless Niki gets to rocking so hard it bangs the wall') but recently Niki discovered the arm that reclines the chair and now pulls it out. I tell him no that it will break (and surely it will because he then climbs on the foot part). His response is "We can buy a new one!" How does he understand that already? He doesn't understand that we don't buy those things again.
He is really into the shopping this lately. He has a little cash register and likes to sell and buy pretzels and apples. He gets coins and passes them to me and then gives the goods when I pay him. He and Jenna get a big kick out of paying now for things at the bakery or stores.
They also understand about tickets and how they get you in places. They both want to put in the ticket at the swimming pool turnstall. Or at the train station or to get in places. It is fun to see the world through their simple eyes where time, money and effort doesn't exist.
Yeah for antibiotics. I bless the one who figured it out! I am feeling soooo much better now, but still have some minor symptoms. I am able to handle the kids, so that is the important part. Today I took them to Music together class. Jenna was so excited to be there again and did fairly well--even cooperative. Niki (still being somewhat sick) was more subdued so it was even pleasant. Afterwards I took them to the doctors. Niki for his illness and Jenna for a plantar's wart on the bottom of her foot. They love the doctor because he lets them raid his gummi bear candy. Everyone knows (and I hope) loves Jenna there too. Jenna got a flu shot and Niki will have to wait until he is better.
I am finding the energy to finally get caught up on things. I have not posted pictures for a long time so I just want to redirect you to here so see a bunch. Some are from a recent Crane Day (Günter's work), other outings and when we went to Holiday Park with Oma in September. It is better if you click on one picture then click through them to see the details. The thumbnails don't do them justice!
Once I work out some issues with Drop Shot I will post some links to videos too.
It is the middle of the night. Yesterday was quite hard. Niklas is getting better but I am worse. I have a high tempature, aches (worst part) and alternate between the chills and sweats (since it is the middle of the night I don't want to disturb anyone but my covers are soaked and I can't sleep now).
Günter didn't score any points yesterday either. All week he has had an Open House at Terex and he did 6 presentations (mostly in English but a few bus loads in German) so I didn't want to disturb him. However, when Jenna came home I was in bad condition. It seems when I am physically unavailable her tantrums are even worse. I didn't want her to get too close because I don't want her sick too! But in the end she did and kept putting her face by mine (with her mouth open as always) while I was laying on the couch. I called Günter several times during the day but didn't reach him--his cell phone was turned off and his collueage said he would be back to his desk around 3 pm. At 4 pm I could hardly handle the kids. I had no energy and let them do anything they wanted to keep them occupied (and my kids don't really find the tv anything mesmorizing). So they played with all the keys in the key box (I hope I can find them all). I called Günter to find out when he would come home and at least he had his cell phone on this time. He acted like he didn't know I was sick (or probably just how sick because I was caretaking him). He came home around 4:30 but I was a mess by then. I went to bed but had to give him the lecture about being sensitive and calling me during the day to check on me. I know when we were dating and I had the least little sickness he was checking on me all the time and so nurturing, but since we are married and with kids...
The kicker to the illness is that when Jenna got off her bus the driver told me they have fall holidays (yes, the German's--and Europeans are always on holidays) so I have her all next week. I don't know if Niki's KiGa is open or not--no one said anything to me. So I need to be well by Monday!
Literally. Niklas has some sort of stomache flu for the last 2 days and can barely keep anything down. I have given in a few time and allowed him food and promptly regretted it! So between getting up with him at 3 am, 4 am etc while he is sick, and my own now swollen glands and sleep deprived self, I am coming unhinged.
And I am terribly delayed in posting pictures of the kids and activities they have enjoyed the last 3 weeks.
Hope we kick this soon.
On the 10th anniversary of the horrific event at Fairchild AF base (24 June 2004) I posted some thoughts and feelings about it. Interestingly enought several people seeking some healing from the emotional scars have contacted me through it. One man was a dorm-mate to the killer and years after he had gotten out of the military and was attending college. When the killings happened at Virginia Tech it triggered his feelings of guilt wondering if he had any fault since he would tease the would-be killer and thought that may have tipped the scale into his actions. Another gal (who was just 5 years old and was injured during the shooting) also commented that she wants to communicate. Little did I think all these years later people would find my blog and I could possibly help them. It also goes to show that years later residue of the event still linger. I also see how this blog can randomly help people.
Meira asked if I ever posted on how the psychiatrist played a significant role in my life, so here it is: After the shooting they immediately transfered some other professionals to fill the slots of the ones killed. I think they chose especially sensitve people too. The psychiatrist and I became friends. Several times I asked him to go out to tell the media to leave us alone. We went on bike rides and had fun together. When he went on a training he left me to watch his cat. He never asked me out (and he was single) and never refered to any other relationships, so I assumed he was gay--and on his last night there I asked point blank and he said he was. After 2 years he was transfered to Turkey. I offered to have him stay in my spare room until he flew out and he left his cat (Mr. Kitty) and some electronic stuff that he couldn't take with him.
Then to my surprise he called me on his morale calls from Turkey and proposed marriage. He suggested we meet and spend a holiday in Europe together to discuss the possibility. At the time I considered it but thought it could never work since he wasn't Mormon and my religious beliefs are such that I always dreamed of sharing that with my husband. I wanted children and he didn't but said maybe we could look into adoption. I didn't really care about the sex part since the companionship is really what I love about a relationship.
Since he was such a dear friend I agreed to go. In 1996 we toured France, Italy and a few other countries. But it was disasterous. I think he was scared and couldn't really talk about it, it turned into him intellectualizing. It must be said that he was far more intelligent than I was and he could run circles around me intellectually which he used as a defense and I felt very hurt because I knew him as a compassionate and understanding friend. By the end of the 3 weeks we were barely talking. It was horrible.
I returned and didn't hear from him and after 6 months I put an ad in the newspaper and found another home for Mr. Kitty and got rid of his other things. Then I heard from him about a year after our trip asking me to send Mr. Kitty and I explained the reasons that I couldn't and never heard from him again. It really hurt since I cared a great deal about him.
Then, after the terrible breakup with another man who I was engaged to(who also turned out to be gay) I was looking for another job. My friend in Germany told me she came across a job that I should apply for. I did and found out that my psychiatrist ex-friend was now the chief (Lt Col) over the flight and doing the hiring. When I got a letter in the mail stating I wasn't selected I knew why. But the very next morning they said there was a call from Germany. It was Brad. It was very awkward and I said I understood why he didn't select me. He said he didn't because there was even a better job for me over here and offered it to me. It was the specialty I trained for working with children and families! I wanted to process and have some healing to what had happened with us, but he wasn't interested and he moved onto Ohio (where he became a full bird Col.) the week before I moved there.
And there it ended. But he played a significant part and I wouldn't have come to Germany or married who I did or have the kids I do if it wasn't for him!
Missy asked me about the speech therapy. I guess after a post like my last one I need to fill you in on the therapies. After working with Children for many years and supporting/encouraging parents to seek evals and services for their children through the schools and privately and hearing all the struggles they had getting qualified etc. So I am the first to say that I have not looked very favorable upon the American school services for special needs. Over here the American schools (DoDS--Department of Defense Schools) seem to have the same reputation--more needs than the resources. I have friends that work as OT, ST and PT and they all say their case loads are enormous, if not impossible and they have to be creative to still see all the kids and say they are getting the services, but they don't get what they need or deserve!
I thought that the semi-socialized medicine in Germany would be to my benefit for Jenna's therapies. Once we got her accepted in the special developmental/handicapped school (at a cost of 2,230 euros/month) she would get all the services needed. But it has not been the case. Last year we couldn't get her into the program so they offered us the consolation of the 2 mornings/week and she could see the ST and OT once a week. But she needed far more and the outpatient therapist didn't have room in their schedule to see her more than that (even though we don't have to hassle with deductables, copays etc, we pay a high premium in taxes--40% of gross income--so you expect a little for it).
All of August was the European vacations, so she ended services with her OT and ST in July. In the end of Aug Jenna started at the new school and after a few weeks of transition we started asking when she would get her OT and ST and they said they were "observing" her. We (Günter) asked if they talked to her old ST and OT to see what they were doing and what worked and didn't, but they hadn't--they wanted to form their own opinions. A few weeks ago Günter talked to the director of the program and she said that they can offer Jenna 1 ST/week and 2 OT/week. All the research on Apraxia says that she might as well have none if it is 1 time a week, she needs 3-5 times/week! We spoke directly to the ST and she said that she WILL speak to Jenna's old ST and will make a plan to start working with Jenna in October! OCTOBER! So Jenna goes nearly 3 months without services and once she gets them, they are far less than she needs. I am SOOOOOOO frustrated but we don't have the money (or the time to take her out of school to apointments) for her to go to a private ST. The insurance will cover her at the ReHa but not if we seek more.
I try to do some speech exercises with her but since she is in her defiant stage it sets up even more tension and I want to see me as the nuturer and someone she can come to for comfort--not someone pushing her to make sounds and learn to suck or blow.
There you have my vent!
I have read a lot of books, studied research and attended conferences on various aspects of human behavior all in effort to understand how to help people in relationships. As I look at my children I can't help but think of some of how they are developing roles and interaction patterns that likely will define who they are in the future. Not all of them are good one, either.
Happily, I see Niklas developing some social skills. He hasn't bit or pinched another child for a while. Although his reputation among peers is still there, and a lot of kids won't play with him. I am feeling better now that he won't develop into a bully. He seems to have empathy and I was told lately that he even brought some cars to a boy that was crying in effort to comfort him. He says hello to most kids now when he first sees them and even as we pass people walking.
Jenna, on the other hand, seems to be setting up (not due to any fault of her own) to be defiant and oppositional. I can tell with myself and see with Günter and even Oma that people are starting to tire of her constant refusal to cooperate--even with the smallest things. I am the first to admit I have felt quite angry with her defiance. Just one small example is how I tell her to stay away from something and she will walk backwards slowly and look at me in the eye the whole time as she inches towards what I told her not to touch. Andthis goes on with tantrums if I must change her diaper (and she WON'T use the potty), get her dressed, put on shoes or jacket, or have her eat (even the foods she asked for she refuses when I get it). I am positive this has a lot to do with her inability to communicate fully. Her signs are limited and she is sloppy with them so often I misunderstand (like this morning when she made the sign for cookie--I thought--and said no, but she really meant plate). Günter is getting so impatient with her too that we, the two people that should help and love her the most don't want to be around her. I feel really guilty about it. This weekend with Oma the samething happened (as well as when her cousins stayed here for a week). Even though she is so cute, she is moving into a role that will not be good in the future. It scares me because I seem to be reinforcing it by getting upset with her. I don't like getting so mad at her all the time and then she sees Niki gets all the positive attention since he is cooperative.
I wish I could change the role she is etching out for herself.
I have a bit to catch up from last week. Last week Günter took his niece and nephew hiking and another day to roman ruins and a cave nearby. On Thursday he took them and Niki to a Science Center called Ferrodrom where there are some things they can experiment with.
They had a slide that Niki loved.
Friday they took the train back to Bavaria. Overall they were alot better than I thought. I actually thought the boy would be complaining of being bored (since he usually does at all family gatherings) but he was surprising with his helpfulness and cooperativeness. The gilr (12 years old) whom I thought would play with the kids and help out more didn't. She didn't bring a brush (and when she did brush she let her long hair go all over the floors in the house and didn't pick it up.) Both kids had to be told to take a shower and Günter had to tell them after the first day that this wasn't a hotel and they could clear their plates from the table and load it in the dishwasher. They loved to play with Niklas but sadly they were rejecting of Jenna. I think they didn't understand that she has poor control of her muscles and would bump into them and they took it as being aggressive and didn't want her around--even though I tried to explain Jenna.
It was disapointing that their parents asked us (we didn't offer to take the kids) and they didn't send any extra money for entrance fees or even offer (we would have probably turned it down, but it would be nice if they had offered) and Günter took off 4 days of work. The parents never called to thank us or tell us the kids arrived safely back home. Finally the 2nd day they were gone I had Günter call and his sister did thank us but I wonder if she would have if he hadn't called. We decided if they ask again we will simply tell them no.
I have always been good at telling people my appreciation for their kindness but this helped me to feel what Heavenly Father must feel when we don't express gratitude for all the ways he blesses us (that we take for granite).
On Saturday we took the kids to a park in Kaiserslautern. Niki loved this round-about and would fling himself into papa's arms form it!
This is a unique slide that you have to help them get up but both loved sliding down.
Monday we had some guests over for dinner and yesterday I took Niki to his new music together class--the same one I had both kids in during the spring. Niki was happy to be back but once again he got all wound up and was not participating but running around the room acting silly. Afterwards I took him to the urologist. One of his testicals has not descended and since he was not circumcised (at Günter's insistance) we have found the foreskin has not been retracting like it should, so the doctor took a look at these things. He perscribed a very expensive nose spray (hormone based) that must be given 3x day to help the testical to descend and a cream be applied to the p*nis to help the foreskin to retract. Niki hates both, so we will see if we can be successful with it. It told Günter if it doesn't work then he gets circumcised!
Yesterday I had that TOPS group where I stepped down. After the meeting I went with the co-leader (whom agreed to be leader) to go over everything. I felt free to talk since I was done with the whole thing. The amazing thing was that we really cleared up some misunderstandings both of us had of the other and some things that happened. We both came to wrong conclusions and didn't want a confrontation so we just went along but didn't have a good relationship. Goes to show that being vulnerable and open really does relieve burdens and it didn't turn out badly at all! In fact, it was just the opposite. I ended up telling her why I was quitting because of all the problems and lack of support (and this was vollunteer so I don't think I need to take so much stress without being compensated). In the end she agreed with me on most everything and she hopes that I won't leave if she can help to work out some of the stressful issues. I felt this huge burden come off my shoulder. I really don't want to quit but want the stress to be much less. If that can happen I think I can stay.
So that is the update on things.
A friend sent this to me and the video is facinating. That kids can learn this is so amazing and it can save lives of those who have swimming pools at their home or in their neighborhood. It is mighty expensive, but surely worth it.
On Saturday we met up with Günter's family at a Corn Maze.
It was fun but a little embarrassing since we couldn't find any of the points to get a stamp and we would find other family members with nearly their card full. Of course we had two small kids to slow us down.
Both kids thought it more fun to cheat and go off the path through the corn rows. It brought back some memories of me detasseling corn when I was a teen.
Afterwards we rented some Go Carts (that you pedal) and rode around with the kids on the back or pushed them.
We had dinner after at his parents house. All Günter's siblings were there with their families or significant other. We had to leave quickly after dinner since it was getting quite late to get them to bed. Surprisingly they didn't fall alseep on the way home. We brought home Günter's niece and nephew so we moved Jenna's bed into Niki's room and Jenna's room is now the guests room. But it has been disasterous since the kids spin each other up with laughing and talking. After go in numerous times to tell them to go to sleep Niki said, "I told Jenna stop talking!" But he is as much the guilty party as she is!
After church on Sunday we stopped by Jenna's school since they were having a huge festival. I couldn't believe how many people were there. Cars were parked half a mile down the road and in fields nearby. They had all kinds of booths and activities for the kids. Jenna had a little paper hat made and she sat there all cute while they did it.
There was a lot of food and music going on. One thing that amazed me was this handicapped band. They were very good.
Today (Monday) we took the kids to swim at Calypso in Saarbrücken. We got there shortly after 10 am and paid for 3 hours. The child play area was disapointing but the kids liked the slide. They had some amazing pools and slides--a diving/lap pool that beside the lanes, 12 feet deep with cool statues of sea animals and boat wrecks and treasure. The slides had some you used with intertubes, a dark one (with lights once in a while), a fast (but short) one, a river ride (that part took you outside which it was raining, so that was fun). I liked the hot tubs! There was another track pool that had quite a current going and the our kids enjoyed that one a lot. They are getting so good and I am very proud of them. They both wear floatation suits but can "swim" independantly now. They like to jump in and go without any assistance (even though we stand close by just in case). One time there was a scary thing that happened. Günter was with Melinda and Christopher on the slides so I had both kids in this track (with a strong current) and Niki broke off to the side to go out and the current pulled me with Jenna on down. I grabbed the side and Niki was holding the side of the pool (going out where their wasn't a current) and I yelled to people going in to help. Niki was quite hysterical and I felt so helpless because there was no possible way to swim back "up stream" to get him. A nice lady finally brought him down to me (and I was holding on with all my might just to stay in place). I took the kids out then and we played in the kiddie pool until Günter joined us. We couldn't believe how long they lasted. We had something to eat around 12 but they all wanted to stay longer and we didn't leave until 4:15! It ended up costing about equivalent $14 for each of us but Jenna & Niki. (Yes, Jenna did her routine poop, but I was prepared this time so nothing humiliating happened).
Niki was quite funny on the way home and said Jenna had a cheese burger in her nose. Later we figured out he meant she had a cheese BOOGER in her nose. Made us laugh! When we put them to bed at 7 pm they didn't talk too long before crashing after all the swimming and not getting a nap. Now to sleep I go!
My family's genetics is riddled with depression/anxiety and I inherited my share. It took me a long time in my adult life to even figure this out, then accept my problems and finally get some treatment for them. At least in this stage of my life I know the signs and signals to look for. For me, depression and anxiety go hand-in-hand and usually I get irritable depression (where I whine and can't be happy about anything). I got myself on some meds but they don't seem to be helping much or my stress levels exceed the seratonine added...
Depression doesn't make a lot of sense from a logical point of view, so I can't even tell anything that justifies it, but I have a chemical makeup that predisposes me and sometime I let my thinking (and feelings) slide on down into the abyss. I did that lately. My anxiety is what I can really identify quite well and usually figure out what to change.
A good friend loaned me a book "The Liars Club" to which I escaped a bit but it was a book that is a memoir of her life with her unbalanced mother and alcoholic parents. It is told from her perspective as a child. I was in awe that anyone lived in such a crazy environment, even though I know people do all the time (from when I was a therapist the truth is more bizzar than any story). The book had an odd effect on me besides being enthrawling, it made me connect a bit with my craziness inside and the shadow came out more.
Beyond that, it was just hormonal or chemical or something because I had two nights of insomnia (one night with NO sleep and another with very little) and stewing a lot about some situations I am in that I feel caught between keeping commitments and wanted to move away from the things that cause the stress.
On Tuesday I was so upset after I came home from a meeting I lead and I even vented to a friend for an hour about all the things that are upsetting me. I want to quit the group (weight loss) but have this nagging voice from my adolescent years with people accusing me that I run away from problems, so I am afraid to leave in case it proves this. But I came to the conclusion I simply want to quit. I have felt this way for month but hung in there thinking it would get better but now the scales tipped (no pun intended) and I decided it IS time to step down and move on. I don't want it to drain me and I do have choices.
Today I met with one member of the board and told her and she was disapointed, but supportive and I (reluctantly) called the other member and told her. She was okay about stepping up as the leader. It is a relief just to know I did this even though I feel guilty. I still will have to face more when I tell the group on Tuesday and tonight I have yet another phone call to make to the last person. But I am telling myself to grit my teeth and get through 2 more weeks and I will be free. That will free up a lot of stress.
I still have the kids, my marriage and church things, but I can deal with them.
Plus this next week Günter's niece (13 years) and Nephew (16 years) are coming to stay and I am NOT looking forward to it. The boy always complains to his parents he is bored and I hate it that I feel somewhat responsible to "entertain" them. I can't just have my normal routine when they are here and I will have to cook different too.
Tomorrow we are meeting Günter's family for a get together with all siblings and families. I won't comment on that because I will be speaking from my dark side.
And my base ID expired and I didn't find it out until 2 days before and it take 2 weeks to get a background check and have another one (good for a year). So to even go to the group on Tuesday I must ask someone to sign me on (which I HATE).
With that I will sign off and go escape...
While I am thinking of it I just want to say how satisfying it is to be Adored. I know Jenna loves me but Niklas Adores me. I don't think anyone has ever Adored me like he does. There is this look in his eyes, which he holds with mine then a slow cocky smile crosses his faces, like he knows. Sometimes it is in how he calls out for me--not crying or needing something but seeking reassurance. He prattles on as he follows me around, telling me about Laura (a girl at his KiGa that I think he has a crush on) or his teacher or cars he thinks about. I bask in this. It is so fulfilling to know someone hangs onto every moment with you (used to be that way with Günter when we were courting, but life has interupted that).
On the potty front, some days he wants to be completely nakes (as if that helps him to feel his body better?) and will request to sit on the potty for a relatively long time for him. He goes pee and sometimes poop and then rejoices with a "Yeah" and clapping then a yell to me about getting his lollypop (as a reward). He likes to proudly announce when he "makes" a fart or a burp too. Then he laughs and laughs. I guess this starts early with the the male species!
I am finding that a lot of things he does must be programed in his psychic because he has a few habits from my husband and some from me. From my husband he usually dusts off nonexistent crumbs from this fingers or hand while he is distractedly looking around. From me he gets anxiety about being clean and orderly (I am glad about this and hope he is a type-A personality since I think they go further in life).
I think he is very ambivalent about growing up (who isn't?) so he vacilates from being a "big boy" and wanting me to hold him again like a baby and he pretends to cry (waa, waa) and is happy when I talk to him like a little baby and sing to him (I still sing to him but more action songs and with him along side me).
Speaking of "big boy" concept, he got a little confused by something I said and now it has stuck and I am having trouble reprograming him. One day we were at the playground and he was in a swing that was made out of heavy canvas/tarp material. He wanted me to swing next to him and I tried but could fit my "fat" rear in it and said that out of my shame. Since then he goes around saying mama is too fat and papa is too fat (which Günter has given me the lecture about how destructive I am to turn our child against him) and even himself (which Günter has also mentioned I have created an eating disorder in him). At first I kind of sniggered because I thought it was funny, but then I gave some thought to it and figured out that kids at this age are learning the concept of "too little" and "too big" (like he is too big for a baby carrier and too little to go on certain rides that big kids do). So now I reframe it but I live in dread that he will tell some teacher at church or another kid they are fat and they won't understand. And I am being so very careful what I am saying (I never swear, so there wasn't a lot of bad things for him to pick up from my language but he managed the one time, the one thing I did wrong)!
On Tuesday and Wednesday Jenna took the bus to the Reha
I followed behind with Niki. There are two groups of buses and Jenna's is in the 2nd set so they wait in a long line until the first group have unloaded all the kids.
Then Jenna gets out and her teacher meets her and they go to an area until all the children are there. Thanksfully it is covered since it is always raining!
They then all walk back to the classroom and sit at the table and eat their breakfast (that I pack for her).
After she gets settled, I leave with Niki and take him to his KiGa in our village. After breakfast they have some freeplay then they have a little class then lunch then naps then more free play and come home.
Today is the first day I sent her on the bus without following. It is hard for me. We waved and blew kisses but I felt so sad and empty inside seeing the bus drive off. Today I still pick her up at 12:20 but tomorrow she rides the bus home too, then next week she does it all by herself. Sob. My baby is growing up.
Today Jenna started her new group at the ReHa KiGa. Since this week is the gradual transition and she was only to come today for 1 hour (1-2 pm) for a welcome, I kept Niki home too. (I didn't want to deal with her being upset not going to our village one when Niki did, and I needed them to get an early nap so they would be good for the event).
Everything worked out well. They both fell asleep for a late morning nap and I woke them up around 12 to eat some lunch and we left at 12:40. Parents and children slowly gathered in the large gym and then teachers and the head of the KiGa came in. Jenna was so glad to see one of the kids (and mother) from her old group there. It was amazing that Jenna must have had an idea of this because she was a bit nervous (she gets quiet and a bit shy). She sat right next to me and didn't move (normally you can't get her to do that).
Then they had us all sit (on the floor) in a large circle and a teacher played the guitar and we all sang a song. The director of the program then spoke then they handed out a little soft animal (keychain) for all the kids. Niki was with me and grabbed one too--sneaky kid.
Afterwards we followed the teachers to the new room and they got to play for 40 minutes.
I was glad that there was another family there where the father is American and spoke English and another mother spoke to me in English. I think it will be a good group for Jenna.
Tomorrow the bus is coming to pick her up but I will follow it in the car and then take her to her class. I think I will have Niki with me again because the bus comes at 7:50 and I don't think I can manage to get him ready and dropped off early enough and get back home in case the bus comes early. I think it is good that he gets to see where Jenna goes to school too. I may just take him with me to run errands afterwards (I have to pick up Jenna at 12:15) and he won't even go back to his KiGa until Wed or Thurs. Niklas is pretty easy to take around, so I don't mind. He is even fun and I think of him as my little buddy.
Niki's sense of humor continues to emerge and he just cracks me up! Usually when we go to the car he runs fast and opens his own door and climbs in then locks the door. After I get Jenna in her car seat I have to go around and unlock the door and open it and he says "Niki trick more!" Too funny. Since we have BBC and some English words are a bit different form ours, he has learned those. Today he wanted some "stinky tape" (they call it sticky tape) to make a birthday cake (with some mardi gras beads) as decoration over some lids. He now includes Jenna in some play (from the parallel play of before) and has learned to say "No Jenna" instead of pulling hair or biting. I have to jump right up to move Jenna away when he does it because if she keeps it up he resorts to more effective ways of detering her. But he is learning. I am so proud of him and find him so funny too. We sometimes laugh together at things. Last Sunday when the Deacons of our church were passing out the sacrament (bread and water) they would get in a line before returning to the front and he would say "boys in a train". I love it how he talks to himself before he goes to sleep. Some of it is just babbling but some of it he talks about things he did during the day. He seems to remember things and will agree to do things "after" something. Then he reminds me what I promised! He has a preference for certain clothes and will ask to wear "Oma/Opa's shirt" (which they brought back from Hawaii for him). He can remember where things are (when we have lost the keys) and tells us where they are. He alos freaks out if things are messy or he gets wet or dirty (I fear this is from me and my conditioning). As well as he freaks out if Günter takes my (the red) keys rather than his (actually a good help since I can stop Günter before he leaves). Günter asked me the other day if I still wish Niklas was a girl and I said no. I just can't imagine him anything else than what he is. I just adore him.
<