I have been biten, pinched, slapped, pushed and spit up on, peed on, but the worst is by far is to be vomited on, by my children. Nobody tells you about this when you sign up!
I have become very desperate these last few days. I am sure a lot of it has to do with my lack of sleep. Niki starts off in his own bed but after screaming hysterically two hours after he has slept, I move him to my bed (Günter was sleeping in the guest room because of the exposure factor). I can't really sleep with him there because between his hacking coughs (that sometimes sound barking and scaring me it is croup) he has his Darth Vader breathing. The worst is when he tries only to breath through his stuffed nose and I hear nothing when there should be an exhale and inhale breath. I wake him up and tell him to breath out of his mouth. The whole thing brings up all my anxiety (which I am prone to naturally) about my greatest fear of a child dying. I say it once more, this is all amplified by my lack of sleep for several days.
That all set the stage for what happened yesterday. Niki has refused to take his antibiotic. The first one literal made him throw up since it "taste yucky" (and also is responsible for the beginning of this post). Then, in self preservation, he would clamp his lips closed and when we came near him with the medicine would cover both hands over his mouth and shake his head. Then we went ot the doctor and got a different antibiotic and when we did manage to get the syringe in his mouth, he promptly spit it out. This happened several times and each required a change of clothes for him and myself! I was yelling by that time and told him he will never get well (and I will never sleep again!) unless he takes it! Then we tried again and he spit it out. After taking off his clothes I beat his clothes on the couch pillow I was so angy. Then I started crying thinking we would run out of medicine and I would have to go sit in a doctors office for anothe hour and may or may not get more from the doctor.
All this leads my anxiety and I started crying, then begging him to take it then bribing him with anything I could think of. I could handle life. I felt just like I did during child birth and said "I can't do this". I wanted to run away and escape my life. But I can't ask anyone to help because then they will be exposed, so I have to go on.
I wish I would have known this on all those Mother's Day at church when I thought I couldn't be a mother and grieved. As soon as I get some sleep and get Niki on his way to being healthy I know I will have a different perspective. I hope.
BTW, we did get the hot water heater fixed (cost 300 euros=$420) so at least we have had hot water all week!
Posted by Krista at November 10, 2007 09:07 AMOh Krista -- you're handling things just like I would. I hope crying relieves some of the stress. Sometimes its the only way to 'blow steam'. It's a vicious cycle -- you know he needs the meds w/o risking further complications but little Niklas doesn't realize --- but what do you do? Would they consider hospitalization to administer the ABx IV? Does he have the antibiotic that comes as a powder and you add water too? Have you checked to see if the pharmacy has flavoring packets you can add to the medicine? The pharmacy's here have about 25 different flavors the kids can pick from. Just a thought. But if Niklas has the mental association connecting meds with vomitting that can be a difficult hurdle -- medicine in yogurt? melted popsicle? change to a pill in pudding? You've probably already brainstormed all the alternatives. I hope he (and you) have a turn for the better!
Posted by: Dana at November 10, 2007 10:35 PM